Ethan Slater's Ex-Wife Dr. Lilly Jay Pens Essay About Super Public Divorce: "Season of Shock and Mourning"

Ethan Slater's ex-wife Dr. Lilly Jay is speaking out in a big way.

Jay, who is a clinical psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health and child development, has penned an emotional, vulnerable essay for The Cut, in which she opens up about the deep pain caused by her divorce.

This pain is compounded by the fact Jay's separation from Slater happened in the midst of filming for Wicked, on the set of which he met his now-girlfriend Ariana Grande. And as anyone with an internet connection knows, Wicked promo is totally unavoidable these days, and has been for months—making Jay's grieving process extra thorny.

"No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced," Jay began her essay.

"Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity. In this season of shock and mourning, over a year after the end of my marriage was made public, I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for myself as a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health."

The therapist goes on to explain that she and Slater had to strike a balance between her job being very private and his being necessarily public, a balance which of course was completely thrown off when he started a relationship with one of the world's most famous people.

"Motherhood, I have learned, fills your time but not your mind," Jay wrote. "In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage."

She went on, "Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child.

"While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.

"As for me, days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker."

Slater and Grande began dating sometime in the summer of 2023, with the timeline a bit murky as to when he and Jay actually separated.

In July of that year, Jay told Page Six in a moment of anger, "[Ariana’s] the story, really. Not a girl’s girl. My family is just collateral damage."