How Kali Uchis Healed Her Relationship With Her Mom

Kali Uchis for Marie Claire — (Image credit: Michael Oliver Love)

Kali Uchis' life has changed a lot in the last couple of years. She became a first-time mom—and she sadly lost her own mom, Betsy Loaiza Boteler.

Uchis and her mom's relationship had been complicated when she was growing up. She even lived in her car at times as a teenager so she wouldn't have to be in the house.

"There were a lot of problems at home, but I know now my mom was doing the best she could," Uchis, named a Power Mom for our Motherhood Issue, tells Marie Claire in her cover story.

"She suffered from anxiety, among other things. She had three kids and a job as a secretary. (I used to play secretary when I was little, because I wanted to be like her.) When you become a parent, you have more grace for your parents."

But the singer and her mom were able to work towards healing their relationship in the end.

"Even before she got sick and I got pregnant, we moved past it, my mom and I," Uchis tells Marie Claire.

"She actually made the effort to work on our relationship and try to get closer. A lot of parents of their generation will not take accountability or have difficult conversations. My mom wasn’t like that.

"She had a good heart and she genuinely did love me. We were able to mend things with the help of a mediator, and we both got a lot of closure. I was really grateful, hoping we’d be able to make up for lost time. Shortly after, she got her diagnosis."

Happily, Uchis' mom was able to meet her son, whom she shares with partner Don Toliver, though she passed away "a week befire his first birthday."

The little boy is 14 months old now.

Uchis was named as one of Marie Claire's Power Moms, alongside fellow actresses and activists Deepika Padukone and Gabrielle Union, among others.

The Motherhood Issue

Iris Goldsztajn is a London-based journalist, editor and author. She is the morning editor at Marie Claire, and her work has appeared in the likes of British Vogue, InStyle, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29 and SELF. Iris writes about everything from celebrity news and relationship advice to the pitfalls of diet culture and the joys of exercise. She has many opinions on Harry Styles, and can typically be found eating her body weight in cheap chocolate.