Demi Moore, Kate Winslet, and Zoe Saldaña Recount the Power of Women Saying "No"
"When you say no, you're also telling the universe what you want to be brought to you."
Raise your hand if you've ever been afraid to say "no." As women, it can often be scary to assert yourself in that way—and it's something actresses Zoe Saldaña, Demi Moore, and Kate Winslet understand on a very deep level.
In a new roundtable interview between the actresses—alongside fellow heavy-hitters Saoirse Ronan, Cynthia Erivo, and Danielle Deadwyler—for the LA Times, the women spoke extensively about the things they've learned on set and gained from their experiences embodying other people, and one of the biggest lessons was about the word "no."
Asked by LA Times reporter Amy Kaufman about why the first thing she always tells young people/actors about is the power of "no," Saldaña explained the impact saying something that goes against so much social conditioning—for women to be agreeable and submissive to the wants and needs of others—can have on the person saying it and the world at large.
"I grew up in a culture where the respect for elders was never questioned, and it's something that you just have to do all the time," she explained. Adding that when you negate that choice, "sometimes the child grows up not really having a voice."
It's a sentiment all of the women seemed to relate to—this writer included—opening up a broader conversation about how important it is to not only take that power back for yourself, but empower others to do the same.
"I think it's important to check in ... and give them back the power of making their own choices, and sometimes saying 'no' is a very important choice that you have to make in your life," Saldaña explained, adding that "it can save your life, it can save your sanity, and and allow you to develop safely."
She went on to add: "I think younger people need to have a little more control of their identity and their choices—and saying no is very powerful. I always remind women, especially, they can always say no."
Moore chimed in almost immediately, offering that, "I had someone say to me that when you say no you're also telling the universe what you want to be brought to you. That it's a communication not just [of] what you don't want, but of what you do want. And I loved that."
To which all the women nodded effusively, and Winslet added, "I think it's interesting as well, with children, that sometimes when a child doesn't actually have the words yet to articulate how they feel but they can sense that a situation is not one that they want to be in, or there's a circumstance in front of them that they might feel nervous about—and they will just sense that—and the word they will use is 'no.' They will just [say no] automatically."
"There's power in that," Saldaña aptly stated, reminding us all how important it is to follow our gut instincts more—even, and maybe especially when, it's hard and scary to do so.
