Meghan Markle Says She's "Particular," Explains It's Not the Same as Being "Difficult" or "Demanding"

It goes without saying that women should be allowed input in their own projects.

Meghan Markle
(Image credit: Max Mumby/Getty)

On Meghan Markle's latest Archetypes podcast, she discussed the harmful stereotype of the "angry Black woman" with guests Ziwe and Issa Rae.

The latter, who created HBO's Insecure, told the Duchess of Sussex about a colleague calling her "particular," and explained that she had taken it as a compliment: She felt, rightly, that it meant she knew what she wanted.

The duchess understood exactly where Rae was coming from, but caveated her point, saying that if this same colleague had called her "particular" behind her back to other people, her reaction might not have been the same. Markle knows this because she has had similar experiences.

"I'm particular! A) I think a high tide raises all ships, right? We're all going to succeed, so let's make sure it's really great. 'Cause it's a shared success for everybody.

"But I also know that I will find myself cowering and tiptoeing into a room where, and if you ever do that, the thing that I find the most embarrassing, when you're saying a sentence with the intonation goes up, like it's a question?

"And you're like, oh my God, stop! Stop, like, whispering and tiptoeing around it. Just say what it is that you need. You're allowed to set a boundary. You're allowed to be clear, it does not make you demanding. It does not make you difficult. Makes you clear!"

She makes a great point: Everybody should be allowed to have a strong point of view about something they care about, especially if it's their own project.

The context here is that the duchess has often been accused of being "difficult," notably when allegations from her former royal staff came out that she had "bullied" them. Though the Palace led an investigation into those claims, they did not release the results of it.

As such, her argument could be the duchess' way of defending herself against the image certain people have of her. FYI, she has always strongly denied bullying anybody.

Iris Goldsztajn
Morning Editor

Iris Goldsztajn is a London-based journalist, editor and author. She is the morning editor at Marie Claire, and her work has appeared in the likes of British Vogue, InStyle, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29 and SELF. Iris writes about everything from celebrity news and relationship advice to the pitfalls of diet culture and the joys of exercise. She has many opinions on Harry Styles, and can typically be found eating her body weight in cheap chocolate.