Prince Harry Opens Up About Suppressing Grief After Losing His Mother, Princess Diana: “It’s Not Sustainable, and Will Eat Away At You Inside”

Prince Harry—who is a global ambassador for the charity Scotty’s Little Soldiers—shared a heartbreaking admission about the impact of his mother Princess Diana’s death in 1997 as he comforted a war widow during an emotional sit-down, Hello reports.

Harry became a global ambassador for the organization last November but has been involved with Scotty’s Little Soldiers since 2017; the charity supports more than 670 bereaved military children and young people up to age 25, “offering one-to-one bereavement support, guidance to parents and carers, fun activities such as holidays and group events, and learning assistance,” Hello writes. In a new video shared by Scotty’s Little Soldiers, Harry spoke with the organization's founder, Nikki Scott, about the impact of bereavement on kids. It’s something that, unfortunately, Harry knows from personal experience—he lost his mother, Diana, in a car accident when he was just 12 years old. 

“You convince yourself that the person you’ve lost wants you, or you need to be sad for as long as possible to prove to them that they are missed,” Harry said. “But then there’s this realization of, no, they must want me to be happy.”

Scott explained how the charity teaches bereaved military children to celebrate their parent’s life, and Harry spoke about the importance of not suppressing emotions. “That’s the hardest thing, especially for kids, I think, which is ‘I don’t want to talk about it because it will make me sad, but once realizing if I do talk about it, and I’m celebrating their life, then, actually, things become easier,’” he said.

Harry continued, of suppressing grief, that it can help someone cope “for a period of time,” but added “You can’t suppress it forever. It’s not sustainable, and will eat away at you inside. No one wants to be in the position where they are forced to talk about the very thing they don’t want to talk about—especially when every defense mechanism in your mind, nervous system, and everything else is saying, ‘Do not go there,’” per The Mirror. 

Harry looked visibly moved as Scott recalled the harrowing moment she had to tell her five-year-old son, Kai, that his father, Corporal Lee Scott, had been killed while serving in Afghanistan in 2009. “It was the worst,” she said. “How do you tell a five-year-old this? I took him up and sat him on the bed and I said, ‘Kai, do you remember where Daddy was?’ and he said ‘Yeah, Afghan.’ And I said, ‘Something really bad has happened, and the baddies—because he used to play Army—have hurt Dad, and he’s died.’” In the aftermath of her husband’s death, Scott founded Scotty’s Little Soldiers in 2010, hoping to provide long-term support to other bereaved military children.

“What you’ve done is incredible,” Harry said as he hugged Scott. “It is truly inspirational. I’m really honored and privileged to be part of Scotty’s now, and I really look forward to us doing everything we can to bring in more people, more interest, raise more funds, and be able to get the message out there to get more kids the support they so desperately need.”

In recent years, Harry has been more open about his grief surrounding Diana’s death. In January 2023, promoting his memoir, Spare, out that same month, Harry told Tom Bradby that he only cried once following Diana’s passing—at her burial. He also revealed to The Telegraph in 2017 that he had “shut down all his emotions” and said he only began to address his profound grief when he was 28 years old, and did so, Hello reports, by seeking counseling and taking up boxing. 

Scotty’s Little Soldiers released the video with Harry yesterday ahead of Armed Forces Day in the U.K., which “is commemorated annually in the U.K. on the last Saturday in June as an opportunity to support the military community, from active personnel to veterans, cadets, and service families,” People reports.

During Harry’s most recent visit to the U.K. last month—when he marked the 10-year anniversary of the Invictus Games, which also supports active military personnel and veterans—he made a surprise appearance at a Scotty’s Little Soldiers event, not long before he traveled to Nigeria with wife Meghan Markle. “It is such a positive thing for us,” Scott told People about Harry’s involvement with the organization. “The fact that [Harry] was bereaved as a child and served in the military—the young people we support really resonate with him.” 

Harry’s comments come just as news broke today that he will receive ESPN’s Pat Tillman Award at the 2024 ESPYs on July 11 “for his work making a positive impact for the veteran community,” The Hollywood Reporter writes.