Emma Grede on Her Unpopular (but Not Untrue) Work and Life Philosophies

Emma Grede is the CEO and co-founder of the denim line Good American and a founding partner of the shapewear brand Skims, among other ventures. But long before her business success, her life looked very different from that of her Kardashian co-founders. Raised by a single mother in East London, Grede helped care for her three younger siblings. She grew up quickly, she says, and credits that early responsibility with giving her a strong sense of confidence and drive.

There was also a piece of advice from her mom that she says contributed to her "immense confidence."

"I really believed what my mum told me, when she said, 'You're no better than anyone else, but nor is anyone better than you,'" Grede shares on the latest episode of the "Nice Talk" podcast.

Grede didn't come from a wealthy family, and she also struggled in school due to being "unbelievably dyslexic". But when she found herself in "work experience" situations with kids who "had a lot more than I, had much better education," her reaction was: "I'm still gonna win. Like, I'm still gonna be the best intern. I'm still going to be the sparkliest one. I'm going to work the hardest."

More than that, she knew she brought skills and instincts that some of her peers didn't have.

"Actually, I know more than you," she recalls thinking. "Because I know the other side of things. I kind of looked at my skills very broadly. I was like, I can make a roast dinner. I'm 11 ... And I appreciate that about me, yeah? But I knew it very, very young, and so the confidence was built in."

Now, as a 43-year-old CEO named to Forbes’ list of America's Richest Self-Made Women, Grede carries that confidence with her, and says imposter syndrome has never really been part of the picture.

"Something that they say is like, 'It's small at the top.' It's not small at the top, it's minuscule. It's absolutely minute. And when you start to understand what has got people to the positions that they're in, it's never what you think," Grede says. "It's never about ability alone. It's always a mixture of a lot of different things: the right school, the right connection, all of this stuff that plays into it. And so my experience has taught me that usually the people around me don't know better, they've just had a different path, somewhat an easier path. So, I don't believe in imposter syndrome, because the reality of it—once you get there—is that it's not real. You're not an imposter. If you're there, you're there for a reason."

Another common qualm for working mothers that Grede doesn't engage with? Mom guilt.

"I think that you can get together and have like a guilt off. 'I feel worse. No, I feel worse' ... Let me tell you, when I'm out having dinner with my friends at nine o'clock, I don't want to go back to my kids. I'm having a great time," the Start with Yourself author says. "And fine if you feel like that, then stay home. But if you're out and you're doing your thing, like, be in that moment and enjoy it."

Grede says that she measures herself against the standards that she has set as a parent, rather than comparing herself to others.

"I'm not using other people's expectations ... or what the mum groups or Instagram has told me to do," the mother-of-four explains. "I have a set of principles for the way that I like to parent, and I want to make sure that I'm putting my kids to bed X amount of nights a week. And once I've done that, I'm good, because that's what I believe."

For more from Grede—including her negotiation tips and what she suggests as an alternative to manifestation—check out this week's installment of "Nice Talk." The episode is available everywhere you listen to podcasts.