1. What would you be if you weren't an actress? A waitress. At least that's what I wanted to be when I grew up.
2. What are the three qualities that got you where you were today? That sex tape I made, my reality show about me and my family, and my line of canine clip-on weaves.
3. What kind of work would you do for free? Saturday Night Live.
4. What moment made you feel like you'd made it? When Don Pardo [SNL announcer] said my name.
5. How did you make your first dollar? Selling handmade greeting cards on my block when I was 12.
6. Who do you admire and why? My daughter's kindergarten teacher. She has the most beautiful way with words.
7. What song always makes you cry? "Maybe" from the musical Annie, when she sings, "Won't you please come get your baby…"
8. What's the last thing you binge-watched? The Jinx, Transparent, and Documentary Now!.
9. What movie had the greatest ending? Animal House.
10. What was the first album you bought? A 45 of Weird Al Yankovic's "My Bologna."
11. What's on your bucket list? Getting in a time machine set to 1985 to see Prince's Purple Rain concert tour.
12. If you could live abroad, where would it be? Transylvania. Sounds kind of fun to be a vampire.
13. What should every woman try once in her lifetime? Surfing.
14. What's one thing you're exceptionally good at? Connect Four.
15. What's one thing you're epically bad at? Nothing. I'm literally good at everything I put my mind to. Just kidding, I suck at ice-skating.
16. What's a superhero power you'd want to have? The power to stop the sound of whining.
17. If you could compete in an Olympic sport, what would it be? Talking at length about the cold I have and what aches the most.
18. When's the last time you felt beautiful? Holding my newborn daughter.
19. What's the beauty essential we'd have to pry out of your cold, dead hands? Rose water.
20. What's the craziest thing you did for love? Move back to California.
This article appears in the February issue of Marie Claire, on newsstands now.