There's an old tune that goes "99 bottles of beer on the wall/99 bottles of beer. Take one down, and pass it around, oh god, how many IQ points will I have dropped by the end of the night?"
For anyone who's concerned about retaining as many brain cells as she can (I NEED THEM ALL) while having as much *fun* as she can (ah, the contradictions of being a woman), the question that serves as this story's headline has probably arisen at some point: "Is that tequila shot lowering my chances of being admitted to Mensa?" I mean, "Is my drinking making me dumber?" which is really a roundabout way of asking "How much can I really get away with?"
Right off the bat, says leading addiction expert Dr. Indra Cidambi, it's not a terribly good omen that you're thinking about it. "It's not cut-and-paste, but if it affects one area of function, then you're already looking at a downward spiral." Meaning that, if a "too-lit weekend" for you exceeds the rather tame-sounding binge-drinking standard of four drinks in two hours, and you're doing this regularly, you might have already started on the primrose path of alcohol abuse, which will, in fact, damage your memory and cognitive function in a way that does make you dumber (!!!). The good news is an occasional blackout doesn't automatically turn you into Blanche DuBois (stop that, tho), and depending on how party-hearty your ancestors were and your own tolerance, the threshold could be higher.
But while there's no one-size-fits-all answer ("seven birthdays, two bar crawls, and three bottles of a big Cab imbibed while watching Bachelor in Paradise"), there is this: Why add Murakami-ing to the long list of other fears women face when drinking? Best to eat, stay hydrated, keep count, and monitor the ol' BAC—for while a hangover lasts 30 days on your face, stupid is forever.
Follow Marie Claire on Facebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
-
Kristen Bell Says Husband Dax Shepard Recorded Her "On Laughing Gas""I'd expect nothing less."
-
Zendaya Turns the 'Challengers' Poster Into a Crystal-Covered Mini DressIt's official: No one promotes a movie like Zendaya promotes a movie.
-
Prince Harry Will Return to England Next Month For a Special Anniversary CeremonyThe Duke of Sussex recently listed the U.S., not Britain, as his primary residence.
-
Senator Klobuchar: "Early Detection Saves Lives. It Saved Mine"Senator and breast cancer survivor Amy Klobuchar is encouraging women not to put off preventative care any longer.
-
How Being a Plus-Size Nude Model Made Me Finally Love My BodyI'm plus size, but after I decided to pose nude for photos, I suddenly felt more body positive.
-
I'm an Egg Donor. Why Was It So Difficult for Me to Tell People That?Much like abortion, surrogacy, and IVF, becoming an egg donor was a reproductive choice that felt unfit for society’s standards of womanhood.
-
The 20 Best Probiotics to Keep Your Gut in CheckGut health = wealth.
-
Simone Biles Is Out of the Team Final at the Tokyo OlympicsShe withdrew from the event due to a medical issue, according to USA Gymnastics.
-
The Truth About Thigh GapsWe're going to need you to stop right there.
-
3 Women On What It’s Like Living With An “Invisible” ConditionDespite having no outward signs, they can be brutal on the body and the mind. Here’s how each woman deals with having illnesses others often don’t understand.
-
The High Price of Living With Chronic PainThree women open up about how their conditions impact their bodies—and their wallets.
