5 Pointers on Flirting While Using Public Transportation
Last night, I met a stranger. Sort of. He was sitting across from me on the subway, reading a novel I've heard a lot of good things about. But he was too far away ... and he seemed so engrossed in his book ... and as station after station passed, I just couldn't open my mouth ... until ...
Hmm. I'm slightly depressed today, partly because the antidepressants I started taking in December are killing my metabolism, and I've gained a little weight despite the fact that I'm eating substantially less. (Ironic, no? Anti-D's making me depressed? But overall, they're helping a lot, particularly with my chronic insomnia problem, so I shouldn't complain.) Another thing that has me ever-so-slightly down is that so many of my single girlfriends seem to be hooking up with people! For instance, one of my cronies — who shall remain nameless — who has the world's perkiest boobs (while mine are about as upright as two drunkards after a long night at the bar) — she, my perky-breasted friend, made out with this great guy we know. Another one of my girlfriends just got out of a mini-relationship, and to cheer her up, I arranged a date between her and one of my male buddies; and now THAT seems to be going well. A third chick I know is having a no-strings-attached affair with some dude. And I got nothing. Unless you count Singer, which I don't. No disrespect to him, but there's not enough grist there to even properly call it a fling.
So here I sit, eating low-fat yogurt and clipping my toenails.
I know what you're thinking: Get out there and flirt, ya dope! And you're right.
Although last night, I sort of met a stranger. I had my session with Dr. H. (Which was pretty boring. We talked a little about my financial worries — I haven't made very much money this year — and about my usual not-good-enough self-esteem issues. Also a little bit about Singer and how, crazy as it probably sounds, I've learned a few good communication lessons from him.) Anyway, after the couch-time, I went to the gym, to Whole Foods, and then hopped on the subway to get home, thinking Must flirt, must flirt, must flirt! Must get fodder for blog!
And sitting across from me was an attractive-enough guy, who looked like he was of Southeast Asian descent, reading a novel I've heard a lot of good things about: Roberto Bolaño's 2666. A perfect opening, I told myself. Just ask him how it is. But he was too far away ... and he seemed so engrossed in his book ... and station after station passed ... and I couldn't open my mouth ...
At Times Square, a mob of Midwesterners streamed onto our subway car, and I took advantage of the diversion to slip across the aisle, and plant myself diagonal to Bolaño. He didn't notice me ... but I noticed the ring on his finger. Married. The stakes were gone. Which is why I was then completely capable of saying, "Hey, do you like the book?" without breaking a sweat.
I know, I know: That totally didn't count. But at least it was a little warm-up, right? (By the way, he's totally digging the book, which is something of a postmodern detective story.)
Here are some of my thoughts about the best ways to flirt while availing of the public transportation system in your fine city, town, or hamlet:
-Choose your seat wisely. It's a lot more natural to get close, conversationally, if you're not three rows back. But don't feel too self-conscious about making a strategic seat-change either. Chances are, the guy is never going to notice — and if he does, he might just be checking you out, too.
-If a guy's reading something, ask him about it. But don't just say, like I did, "Do you like that book?" Because then you're at risk of getting a one-word answer. Ask something more open-ended, like: "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you seem to be enjoying that book. May I ask what it's about?" If the dude's got a newspaper or magazine, you might want to ask if there are any must-read articles in it.
-Remember that the two of you have at least one thing in common: You're traveling along the same route. So you could ask a question about how many stops the train will make before yours, how long it might take to get there, or which station is closest to your final destination.
-Keep this thought in your head all the time: I'm never going to see this person again if I don't talk to him now ... so what do I have to lose?
If you guys have any thoughts about how best to engage sexy strangers on planes, trains, or subway platforms, please let me know!
Later. xxx.
-
The Cannes Film Festival 2022: The Best Red Carpet Looks
Here's what everyone wore for the festival's 75th year.
By Sara Holzman
-
The 30 Best Black TV Shows Ever
Clear your schedule. You have some binge-watching to do
By The Editors
-
Take a Tour of Ali Wentworth's Personal Library
The author and actress shares her favorite reads in 'Shelf Portrait.'
By Neha Prakash
-
The 50 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The most trusted source in feelin' yourself.
By Alanna Greco
-
The 16 Best Sex Games to Spice Up Date Night With
Game night, but make it hot.
By The Editors
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
-
Four Flirting Fun Facts--With Research to Back Them Up!
My pal Judy Dutton just wrote an excellent new book: How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover. She's chatted with me about the psychological studies that show how best to flirt; what kind of pick-up lines work best; and what you're really saying with your body language.
By Maura Kelly
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors
-
75 Movie Sex Scenes That Are 100 Percent Real
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2022 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors
-
Cult Status Satisfyer Vibrators Are Under $40 for Prime Day
4 stars, 16k reviews...yeah, this vibe's got a massive fan club (for good reason).
By Carina Hsieh