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    1. Sex love

    Was the Date with Elevator Man a Success?

    He is certainly a good flirt himself. In fact, I even picked up some techniques that might be helpful for the men out there. But...did we hit it off? And was my confidence shattered — or shored up? Read on to find out.

    By Maura Kelly
    Published 21 July 2009 In News

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    Well, my darlings, there is good news and bad news about the date with Elevator Man.

    Let's start with the good, shall we? He's a mensch, a sweetheart, the kind of person who makes a girl say Really, it's NOT such a cruel, cruel dating world out there! He was perfectly easy to talk to and full of stories. We had a really nice dinner out in the back garden of a little restaurant, protected from the thunder, lightning and pouring rain of that night by a few large umbrellas--and the incredibly adorable team of young Italians working there.

    Even better: at one point, Elevator Man mentioned what incredibly great shape I was in--which is a far better way of putting it than is telling me I have an "athletic" body. When I said, "Really?" He said, "Oh yeah, you look like you're fit as hell. And your skin too--it's smooth and creamy--it makes you look even more healthy." I was about ready to rocket out of my seat with happiness about that, because I try to take very good care of my epidermis. Another compliment Elevator Man paid me concerned the ring I was wearing--a big round piece of cloudy lavender amethyst, shaped like a pin cushion, with a smaller diamond of bright purple amethyst set on top of it; he said he loved it, and wanted to know if it was an antique.*

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    NOTE TO READERS!: Giving a woman compliments about specific aspects of her appearance is an excellent flirting technique! The specificity makes them feel sincere. And a bigger, more encompassing statement like "You're so adorable!" or "You're gorgeous!" might be embarrassing to hear, and difficult to respond to; it might also come off as an exaggeration--or a white lie. So, for readers of both sexes, I think it's wise to be specific with your flattery. An added bonus: Your date won't think you're coming on too strong.

    (But surely, guys, I don't have to tell you that something like "Wow! What enormous breasts you have!" is not going to go over well. Stick to remarks that feel safe--the kind of things you might say to your grandmother--until you've gone on a few dates and built up a level of comfort and familiarity. Then you can tell her she has huge hooters!**)

    The bad news?

    We did not fall in mad love.

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    But I enjoyed an evening with a kind, smart person, and we swapped stories about our struggles to find love and success and contentment.

    Time well-spent, don't you think?

    I certainly don't regret it.

    I certainly am, however, more convinced than ever I'm not going to find someone.

    But that's okay.

    xxx

    --------------------------------------

    *The truth is, I must've bought the thing at some point when I was in college, at some hippie store--the kind where they probably also sold patchouli oils and incense and wind chimes--and I doubt I paid more than $40 for it.

    **Kidding. Kidding!

    Maura Kelly
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