I have been with three men in my life. The third is the man I'm in love with. I've never had any complaints until now. Suddenly he is bored; he says I just lay there. How can I make things better so he is more satisfied?

Sexual relationships are complicated and I am appreciative that you were comfortable enough to write to me. The truth is, being a good partner is about being attentive to your partner's needs (both physical and emotional), respectful, and willing to communicate whenever issues arise in a relationship. Most important, a good partner never makes you feel badly about who you are — whatever your sexual experiences have been in the past. Before you try to make things better for him, think about what would make you feel better about yourself and about your role in this relationship. From there you can talk to him about what he needs — and what need in order to create a successful partnership.

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