Give in to Your Instincts
"There's nothing worse than when you're with a woman and she doesn't trust herself in bed," Jack said, breaking the ice. The other gentlemen agreed. "A woman who doesn't trust her instincts in bed is a woman who probably lacks confidence elsewhere," chimed in Ivan. If you're in bed with your guy and you all of a sudden have a sense that you or your partner might enjoy something, be it some teasing, a change in position, anything…go for it. Give it a try. Men love it when women they are with are spontaneous and confident in their ability in bed.
Tell Him What Turns You On
Along those lines, tell a guy what you like in the moment. Some people hate dirty talk, and that's fine. This is something different. If he's doing something you like, say it so he does more of it. Something you're not into? Shake your head or suggest something else. "I'm not one for the whole 'harder,' 'do me,' 'tell me I'm a bad girl,' thing," Al said. "But I love it when my girlfriend says specific things that she wants in the moment." For example, if you want him at a different angle, tell him. If you're close to climax, sing it loud and proud. "When my girlfriend tells me she's close, it turns me on so much we end up finishing together," said Jack. Communication doesn't have to be naughty; it can be instructional and informative.
"The best I ever had was when my girlfriend came across my internet history," Ivan confesses. "I was worried she would be mad but she said she actually got turned on by some of the videos I had looked at. She asked that we watch them together and then we had mind-blowing sex." Foreplay, in this case, is watching something together that turns you both on. It can be porn, sure, but a sexy movie might also do the trick. "My girlfriend and I sometimes act out what we see on-screen. If they're in a certain position, we'll do it like that for a while too." Based on your comfort level, try watching something remotely sinful together and see if you can keep your hands off each other. Don't be surprised if you end up having some of the best sex of either of your lives.
"So I've been seeing a woman for about a month," John said. "She loves to give directions." "That's great," Max chimes in. "Unless it gets to the point where it feels like she's bossing you around." "Exactly," John replied. "She doesn't order me to do things but instead tells me very specific positions she wants and that's perfect for me. Really gets me going."
Even the most experienced of men enjoy a bit of direction. Different things work for different people, so while you may love being on top he's been with women who couldn't get off that way. Show him a few positions you like and then he can fool around with them and get inventive. Having that foundation of knowledge of what you are really into gives him a lot of confidence in the sack, which in turn will heighten both your pleasure.
"One thing my girlfriend and I like to do when we get going is play JTT," Andrew said a few beers in. "JTT?" I inquired, "You role play as Jonathan Taylor Thomas?" "No," he replied. "We play Just The Tip."
For those who don't know (or if you've seen Wedding Crashers you know where we're headed), "just the tip" is a notorious farce amongst younger men who are trying to get laid, offering that instead of having sex they just put in the tip of their manhood. Amongst Andrew and several of the men at the table that day, the adult version is a similar idea, but is intentionally acted out by the man as a fun way to tease their partner for several minutes before actually having sex. "By the time we get going, she is already halfway to orgasm and, frankly, so am I," Andrew said. For a bit of stimulation before the main event, this is a fun form of foreplay. Never underestimate the power of delayed satisfaction.
Surprise Morning Sex
We men wake up ready to go, so to speak. "I love it when I wake up in the morning and my girlfriend already has her hand around me," Max said, gesturing toward his nether region. "Once a week I wake up and she's ready to go. It's an amazing way to start the day."
Other men similarly enjoyed the surprise element of waking up to their partner already engaging them in some form of sex. "One time I was half awake and when I opened my eyes I realized Eliza was already on top of me," Andrew said. While morning sex is often fun, the fact that it is unexpected is what really clinches this particular move. If you try it once, don't be surprised if he fakes being asleep every morning thereafter.
Photo via Le Club Symphonie