• Give a Gift
  • Customer Service
  • Promotions
  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Win
  • Games

Would The World Be Better or Worse Off Without Porn?

Posted in:

Would The World Be Better or Worse Off Without Porn?

Share

A few weeks ago, I knocked over my external hard drive off my bedside table and, to my horror, my computers no longer recognized its existence.

This was no ordinary data that was stored on this hard drive. No, it wasn't old tax records, important family photos, or great music. It was 165 gigs of select porn that I have compiled for the past five years. Irreplaceable.

Let me take one more step back. My buddy Bryan (my boobs-obsessed friend), and I have always lauded Avenue B in NYC because it is full of half cocked bodegas, and shops. Every shop looks illegal in some way. Nestled on a block on Avenue B is a shady computer store called (obviously) "Computer," run by two Asian cousins.
Ave B
Bryan had told me about a conversation that he had had earlier in the year with one of the Asian cousins:

BRYAN: "Well, I have a lot of music, and well- a lot of porn too on this computer."
COUSIN: "Oh, well we all have that."

This was the kind of understanding I was looking for. Why take the hard drive to a Best Buy where some woman whose first language was English would give me a dirty look after the repair?

When I took the drive in, I explained the problem, then I was put on the spot:

COUSIN: "So you have a lot of important data on this?"

I cracked.

ME: "Well, uh...I'm not even really sure what's on this."

A few days later I received some good news: I could have the drive fixed AND have my "data" rescued.

Bryan and I went to pick up the drive to experience the miracle together. One of the guys was already smirking when I walked in. They knew.

The worst part of the process was when they plugged in the drive on the showroom monitors and the contents of the drive appeared across all five of them. But, like I said, they knew. They were smart enough to have the settings at "List" and not "Thumbnail" to avoid embarrassment. He asked me about a special movie file he had never seen before and I gruffly stated:

"Oh, those are work files"...total lie.

Me, Bryan and the two cousins exchanged understanding glances, a moment-- spanning a language barrier-- and capping off the perfect discreet experience.

The experience reminded me that males have a universal acceptance and love of porn.

In college, porn was on our TV in the background like light rock in a dentist office waiting room. Guys talk about it openly, and comfortably. When I told my friends about my porn drive breaking, I was greeted with groans and comforted.

The porn that meant the most to me was a movie called "Edward Penishands": a touching story about a misfit goth character who happened to have dildos instead of hands. You should have seen him try to eat spaghetti. But on sad the day my buddy took it to wrestling practice and watched the video with the entire wrestling team, only to have it stolen by one of the coaches. Because of its mysterious disappearance, Edward Penishands became the stuff of legends.
EdPenishands
In a deal that rivaled the island of Manhattan being bartered away for a fist full of beads, Bryan traded a movie called "Bangin' In LA" to my old roommate for some laundry detergent.

I don't like staged porn: it seems contrite. These aren't the best actors. Usually the women look really cheesy. I like amateur porn because it's more real and the girl really looks truly turned on. Sometimes, just a naked picture of a girl is enough for me because I think she's so horny, she got naked in a picture. Boy, it sure is mental with me. Then there are people like my buddy who claim:

"I just need penetration. I need to see one going in."

My friends and I, since I temporarily lost my porn drive, have discussed whether the world would be a better or worse place without porn. We universally agree that the world would be a worse place without porn. One friend of mine even went so far to say:

"Everyone would just be very...frustrated".

I know guys with serious girlfriends or who are married who love porn. I know guys who never get laid who love porn.

My questions for you are: do you find it strange how much guys love porn and how it is such a part of the male experience? Do you feel like the world would be a better or worse place without porn? And, do women love porn as much as we do, but-like most things-they are much more discreet and graceful about it?

Share
Connect with Marie Claire:
Advertisement
horoscopes
daily giveaway
Go to the Beach

Go to the Beach

enter now
You Know You Want More
Special Offer
Link Your Marie Claire Account to Facebook
Welcome!

Marie Claire already has an account with this email address. Link your account to use Facebook to sign in to Marie Claire. To insure we protect your account, please fill in your password below.

Forgot Password?

Thanks for Joining

Your information has been saved and an account has been created for you giving you full access to everything marieclaire.com and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your username and/or password or complete your profile, click here.

Continue
Your accounts are now linked

You now have full access to everything Marie Claire and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your settings or profile, click here.

Continue