What He Really Thinks of Your Hair

Have you ever taken a Rorschach test? The doctor shows you "inkblots" and you blurt out what comes to mind. The inkblots measure perception of abstract shapes, tapping into the corners of the mind. Hopefully, guys don't...

man kissing woman
(Image credit: Dimitri Vervitsiotis/Getty Images)

Have you ever taken a Rorschach test? The doctor shows you "inkblots" and you blurt out what comes to mind. The inkblots measure perception of abstract shapes, tapping into the corners of the mind.

Hopefully, guys don't judge a woman by her hair color, but they have perceptions based on culture, media, and personal taste, similar to unconscious interpretation of inkblots.

When I first started dating, my preference was "blondes with problems." Lately, I've gone for brunettes (also with problems, unfortunately). The dark hair/dark eye combination is captivating.

How do I interpret women's hair color "inkblot-style"? See below:

Blondes

Marilyn Monroe is the iconic blonde. After some research, I discovered Marilyn was not even a natural blonde. Her "blondness" helped create the public's perception of her: playful and flirtatious. Marilyn may be the main reason blondes are so celebrated in male circles. She did a lot for the blonde.

"Blondes have more fun." Blonde hair reflects light, so blondes "brighten a room." And this brightness makes blondes seem friendly, happy, and approachable...and less intimidating than brunettes and redheads.

"Blondes are dumb." Maybe because they "have more fun," they don't seem serious or motivated? Of course, there's no scientific correlation between intelligence and appearance/hair color (although I am as dumb as I look), but sometimes the stereotype persists. My blonde friends even promote it from time to time, quipping, "Sorry, I'm having a blonde moment" to excuse their mistakes.

The "Blonde Bombshell." In a guy's mind, blondes are curvy, suggesting a Pam Anderson-like voluptuousness.

Blondes are the "All American Girl" most often. The phrase "blonde hair, blue eyes" is stitched in the fabric of American society, and blue is a patriotic color. Perhaps this is why blondes often represent the All American girl next door.

Brunettes

After some research, I learned that women with black hair are not brunettes. But I'll lump "dark-haired girls," from brown to black hair, under "brunettes" in this post. 

Brunettes are mysterious and intimidating. I couldn't find a brunette with the cultural impact of Marilyn Monroe. But I noticed most famous dark-haired classic women (Jane Russell, Audrey Hepburn) smiled less frequently than Marilyn did in pictures, so they appear pensive and mysterious.

Brunettes might have a chip on their shoulder because blondes get a lot of the glory. Many brunettes enjoy reminding me that "blondes are dumb." 

"Brunettes are intense, stormy, and angry." In The Wizard of Oz (a movie many of us grew up with), the good witch is portrayed by the redhead, and the wicked witch has dark hair. People with no life (like me) may remember the Smurfs episode in which the evil wizard Gargamel created the brunette female Smurfette to destroy the all-male Smurf village. Once she is cured, and becomes "good," Smurfette is blonde. 

"She walks in beauty, like the night..." Unlike blonde hair, dark hair absorbs light... If blondes are day, brunettes are night (yes, that rhymes). Seasonally, blondes are spring/summery, and brunettes are autumn/wintry.

Redheads

"The redheaded stepchild" is the outcast. There are fewer redheads, so maybe that's why I haven't dated one. Despite their distinct appearance, they aren't discussed in male circles as much as blondes and brunettes.  I've heard guys say red hair is a deal breaker.

The classic redhead women are strikingly beautiful: Rita Hayworth, Katharine Hepburn. For me, the redhead personality consists of polar opposites: She's either the beer-swilling barmaid, giving every guy a run for his money...or the classic confident beauty, understated and graceful, possessing all the answers before everyone else.

Redheads are "fiery lasses." Redheads are bubbly blondes with a "I'll kick your butt if you step out of line" brunette streak. Like brunettes, redheads can be intimidating, but in a different way — more like a brazen confidence.

The eyes may actually have it. Eye color sometimes mixes with hair color amazingly: blue eyes with dark hair, brown eyes with blonde, and green with, well, any hair color. It's funny how culture and media influence perception of hair color, but my personal opinion is: It doesn't matter what color your hair is; if you're hot, you're hot.

And personality could trump everything. That Marilyn Monroe movie was called "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," but a more accurate title might be:  "Gentlemen Prefer a Girl Who Lets Them Reign Over the TV Remote," or "Gentlemen Prefer a Girl Who Lets Them Hang Out with the Guys Whenever He Wants."

Do women have stereotypes about guys' hair color, or are you just happy when he has hair? What are your thoughts on my stereotypes, and what stereotypes do you have for blonde, brunette, and redheaded women? Any guy hair color that would make you not want to date him?

Follow me on Twitter:  twitter.com/richravens