Hillary Clinton and the Comeback Kids

By

April 24, 2008 10:45 PM
Share
sylvester stallone, rocky balboa world premiere
Alberto E. Rodriguez
Back Next

ROCKY BALBOA

Who doesnt love a forced analogy? So, if Apollo Creed was New Hampshire, and Ohio and Texas were Clubber Lang, then the Pennsylvania primary was the high stakes bout against that juicing Commie Ivan Drago. In each big state, Clinton, like Rocky, took some blows, but delivered the knockout just before the bell. She should take a symbolic run (okay, walk) up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum to drive the point home.

THE THIRTEEN COLONIES

The revolutionaries were losing to the British Navy until the Red Coats tried to take the battle to the land. Starting in Saratoga, New York the Yanks gave em a shellacking; Hillarys drive for world domination began in upstate New York as well. Nice parallel.
new york giants quarterback eli manning
Rafael Suanes
Back Next

ELI MANNING

After two seasons that felt like one big interception, he caught up with the pros and brought his hapless Giants to the Super Bowl, beating barely-even-scored-against New England. Of course, Hill might not want to side with anyone who beat up a Patriot.
halston marco zanini
Rabbani and Solimene Photography
Back Next

HALSTON

With Versace-alum Marco Zanini designing, the label that hasnt been relevant since Bianca Jagger was hot is now back on the runways, and on every savvy fashionistas radar.
Kevin Mazur
Back Next

BILL CLINTON

Okay, maybe not a good idea.
VAN REDIN_60/TRI STAR/The Kobal Collection/
Back Next

RUDY

No, not Giuliani. The little footballer that could, from the eponymous 1993 movie. In much the same way Rudy won the hearts and minds of America by fighting his way onto the fighting Irish in the TriStar biopic, Hillary knows how to go long and cut in. Now, if she could just learn to cry as convincingly and liberally as Sean Astin

JOHN MCCAIN

Michael Caulfield
Back Next

MARION COTILLARD

Yes, the Academy loves a Frenchwoman. But historically, its loved the English, old people, and degenerative diseases more. Cotillard, the 32-year-old dark horse, beat out sextagenarian Brit Julie Christie playing an old lady with Alzheimers. In fact, if Hillary goes up against crusty McCain, the analogy would be mighty convenient.
Albert L. Ortega
Back Next

30 ROCK

From near-cancellation to being one of the most talked about shows on TV. Plus Tina Fey is a Clinton supporter. We dont care that she distanced herself from her SNL bitch is the new black rally cry. We know she is.
Shirlaine Forrest
Back Next

MOTLEY CRUE

After nearly 30 years of ups and downs, their new album, The Saints of Los Angeles, is getting huge buzz, their best-selling book, Dirt, is being adapted for film, and theyre selling out massive stadium shows. Okay, so maybe the bands never been gone long enough to come back, but they TOTALLY ROCK.
Peter Aiken
Back Next

THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS JAYHAWKS

In one of the most exciting mens basketball championships ever, the Jayhawks came back from a 50-61 deficit with two minutes remaining to win, in overtime, 75-68. Theres no overtime in politics, but if Hills can hit some three pointers in the remaining primaries, she might get a shot at the title.