7 Things That Happen When You Wear Black Lipstick to Work
A cautionary tale.
Sadly, our reality isn't a Beyoncé music video or March Jacobs' Fall 2016 show, which means black lipstick worn IRL will always be a little jarring. Badass, but jarring. So when I decided to wear it at the office recently, I knew there'd be a slew of reactions—and pitfalls because dark pigments are as understandably demanding as his Purple Majesty.
Full disclosure: When I tried this experiment, I wore Bite Beauty's Black Truffle from their Amuse Bouche collection. It isn't 100% black as it has violet undertones, but it ended up being a fortuitous tribute to his Purpleness as I wore it on the day he died. (I'm devastated, can you tell?)
Anyways, here are a few things that will inevitably happen if wear black, or really any other super-dark lip shade, to work.
1. People will stare at your lips while you're talking to them.
If they don't say anything about your gothic lips, but they're thinking about saying something. Trust.
2. If someone *is* going to say something, it will be a compliment.
That was my experience at least and I'm preeetty sure everyone meant it. And yes, I work in a creative field and things aren't as buttoned-up, but if it doesn't go against your office dress code, I think you'll be surprised at how positively people will react. I was.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
3. You'll feel like HBIC.
The thing about statement lipstick is that it automatically amplifies what you're wearing. Because of this, I felt like a much cooler version of myself. It's kind of like going bleach blonde à la Taylor Swift. It makes you this whole new, edgier person.
4. Eating gracefully will be damn near impossible.
See our list of lip-color-friendly foods. But regardless of how careful you are, be prepared for messy-as-hell-looking coffee cups, bite marks on your sandwiches, and lip color bleeding if you're so daring as to grab soup for lunch.
5. You're going to need to reapply your color at least 1,004 times because perfection is non-negotiable.
This means you've got to have a hand mirror and your choice lipstick at arm's length at all times. If you don't, you'll pay a dear, dear price. (See below).
6. At some point, you're going to forget you're wearing black lipstick.
At the end of the work day, when you're completely worn down by all of your to-do's, you'll be in such a daze that you forget about the super-needy lip you're wearing. You'll smile, head nod, and even talk to people without realizing that you've swallowed half your lip color and you look like you've just downed seven glasses of red wine. You'll vow never to make the same mistake again.
7. Happy hour, anyone?
After fixing the mess that was your neglected dark lip, you'll be back in the I'm-feeling-myself-zone and cursing yourself for not having made after-work plans. You want, nay NEED to be seen. So you'll either make some with your always-down-for-happy-hour friend or coworker. My suggestion for a watering hole? A wine bar that will have a nice, purply glass of shiraz waiting for you.
Follow Marie Claire on Instagram for the latest celeb news, pretty pics, funny stuff, and an insider POV.
Lauren Valenti is Vogue’s former senior beauty editor. Her work has also appeared on ELLE.com, MarieClaire.com, and in In Style. She graduated with a liberal arts degree from Eugene Lang College, The New School for Liberal Arts, with a concentration on Culture and Media Studies and a minor in Journalism.
-
Céline Dion Channels Her Inner Track Star at the Olympics
Logomania is back.
By Julia Gray Published
-
Zendaya and Team USA Gymnastics Both Endorse This Chic Nail Trend
It’s straight out of the Olympic rule book.
By Samantha Holender Published
-
Meghan Markle "Fears" Being "Heckled" If She Returns to U.K.
"The last thing she needs is the stress of going back."
By Amy Mackelden Published
-
This Valentino Perfume Is the Best Fragrance of 2024, According to Beauty Experts
It's a layerable, floral fragrance.
By Samantha Holender Published
-
Is Colostrum the New Collagen?
Doctors and wellness professionals have a lot to say about TikTok's supplement of the moment.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Published
-
TikTok Is Making "Unsexy" Beauty Products Seem Very Appealing
There's more to worthwhile products than pretty packaging.
By Halie LeSavage Published
-
Fendi's First Fragrances Are Designed for Fashion Obsessives
It's finally available to shop.
By Halie LeSavage Last updated
-
Why Beauty Experts Are Calling Out Youthforia's New Foundation
This isn't the way to do inclusive shades.
By Halie LeSavage Published
-
The 32 Best Hair Growth Shampoos of 2024, According to Experts
Rapunzel hair, coming right up.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Published
-
The 20 Best Hair Masks for Damaged Hair, According to Experts and Editors
Healthy strands, here we come!
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
How Often You Should Wash Your Hair, According To Experts
Keep it fresh, my friends.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Published