Here's What Happened When We Tried Donald Trump's Body Lotion

Yet another attack on the female body...

trump speech
(Image credit: Design by Katja Cho)

"It smells really downmarket for someone who's trying to project an image of luxury," commented fellow editor Chelsea Peng as we each spread Donald Trump, in lotion form, all over our unsuspecting limbs. 

I couldn't help but agree that Trump National Doral Miami's Citrus Mango Air Pump Body Lotion, which landed on my desk courtesy of the property's golf shop, was everything I feared it would be—well, aside from the lack of self-tanner. (Such a missed opportunity, honestly.)

The fruity, in-your-face scent felt inescapable at first pump. The lacking-in-substance consistency of the formula was watery at best. And don't even get me started on the false promises etched into the bottle...

Okay perhaps the last part isn't totally true, but I didn't need a board certified dermatologist to tell me that it wasn't worth the $22 price tag. Or, that I really shouldn't be leaving it to Trump to keep my skin supple or hydrated. But I asked anyway.

body lotion

(Image credit: Marie Claire)

The Derm Weighs In

"This particular lotion does have a lot of ingredients that are good for skin, albeit nothing super original or novel," explains Rachel Nazarian, M.D., at Schweiger Dermatology Group, going off the ingredient list alone. "Starting off, it contains several vitamins, both vitamin E and retinal palmitate, which is a vitamin A derivative. Both are great antioxidants and can help combat free radical damage of the skin, with Vitamin A being an effective anti-aging ingredient as well." 

In addition to the vitamins, several of the fruit, vegetable, and flower extracts are hydrating to skin, minus the lavender extract, which carries a higher chance of skin irritation and allergy, she adds.

Okay, so it's not THAT bad. But speaking of skin irritation, I just want to reiterate how unapologetically aromatic this lotion is (Nazarian didn't have a sample on hand). There is just nothing natural about it. As someone with sensitive skin, I've become all too aware of the visible and hidden, underneath-the-skin reactions that strong scents can cause.

"Overall, it's not a bad lotion," Nazarian continues. "But again, nothing super revolutionary included on the ingredient list."

So there you have it. Ingredients aren't bad, but, in my opinion, the scent and texture are. 

As hard as it is to resist the temptation of lathering yourself in l'essence de Trump, maybe do yourself (and womankind) a favor...and don't.

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Beauty Editor

Lauren Valenti is Vogue’s former senior beauty editor. Her work has also appeared on ELLE.com, MarieClaire.com, and in In Style. She graduated with a liberal arts degree from Eugene Lang College, The New School for Liberal Arts, with a concentration on Culture and Media Studies and a minor in Journalism.