Chris Pine Is the Best Chris Because of One Photo, Twitter Says

published 1 July 20

Chris Pine, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, and Chris Hemsworth are engaged in a battle to the death (I presume) to become the internet's favorite Chris.
Chris Pine was recently photographed carrying a bag of books from an independent bookstore while wearing a mask—and was promptly declared "The Best Chris."
Which Chris do you think deserves the crown?

I choose to believe that when Chrises Pine, Evans, Pratt, and Hemsworth, each individually signed up to their respective superhero movies, they were presented with medieval swords engraved with the names of their fellow Chrises, and instructed that to be knighted the One True Chris, they must soak those names in the blood of their rivals. You might enjoy debating the merits of your preferred Chris over Twitter, internet! But little do you know that only one may survive, and the rest must perish in bloody combat! Little do you know the weight of your retweets!

Anyway, the point is, Chris Pine has taken the lead in the eyes of the internet, leaving Evans, Pratt, and Hemsworth in the dust thanks to two candid photos. In the snaps, Pine carries an overstuffed paper bag from independent Los Angeles bookstore Skylight Books, while correctly wearing a face mask in accordance with coronavirus guidelines. And since mask wearing has become an inexplicably controversial matter of late (what if you just...didn't want to kill the elderly and immunocompromised for the sake of exposing a few more inches of face to the open air, anti-maskers?), said photos quickly went viral, thanks to @Rachael_Conrad on Twitter.

Listen: I agree that Chris Pine seems like a delight, and I want to comb through all the books he bought and maybe attend a book club with him, and I am happy to see him wearing a mask, and I enjoy these photos very much. But Pine: I know you are also a rescue dog owner. How am I to believe you're serious about winning this war when you didn't seize the opportunity to include your dog in this obviously highly photograph-able outing? Lives are at stake, Pine! Lives are at stake!

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