Ah, the holidays. At time for family, friends, copious amounts of baked goods, and classic songs that range from adorably corny to uncomfortably cringe-y.
One of the cringe-inducing classics that's played all over the radio and mall store muzak from November through January is "Santa Baby," a song combines blatant materialism and implied sexual favors in a truly gross way. It's no "Baby, It's Cold Outside," but the holiday hit (which has been covered by everyone from Madonna to Taylor Swift) is still pretty damn regressive.
That's why Miley Cyrus' update cover of the song is so refreshing. In a bit with Jimmy Fallon and Mark Ronson on The Tonight Show, Cyrus insisted on updating the lyrics of the holiday classic.
"Am I saying I'm gonna hook up with Santa if he buys me all this stuff?" she points out to Fallon in the opening bit setting up the sketch.
And it only gets better from there.
Sample lyric updates include:
"Santa, baby / I don't need any fancy jewelry, not me / I've got something else in mind Santa baby, / And I don't need your presents tonight."
The #MeToo inspired:
"Santa baby, I'd love to know my ass won't get grabbed / At work / By some ignorant jerk / Tell the dirtbags, to put away their chimneys tonight."
And the incredibly on-point:
“A girl’s best friend is equal pay / Stop interrupting me when I talk / And don’t text me pictures of your [interrupted by a strategically timed ringtone]."
Watch the sketch and listen to the entire updated song for yourself below:
RELATED STORIES
-
Annoyed By Your Overly Visible Nose Hairs? Here's What the Pros DoPutting the best removal methods to the test.
-
Doja Cat Gives Celine's Triomphe Bag the Butter Yellow TreatmentHer style is taking a turn toward the demure.
-
No One Would Guess These H&M and Zara Finds Aren’t DesignerThese under-the-radar finds look triple the price.
-
In 'Sinners,' Music From the Past Liberates Us From the PresentIn its musical moments, Ryan Coogler's vampire blockbuster makes a powerful statement about Black culture, ancestry, and art.
-
After 25 Years, 'The Virgin Suicides' Is Still Influencing Artists Like MeTo coincide with the film's anniversary, Mia Berrin from Pom Pom Squad reflects on what it's meant to her artistic journey.
-
Rico Nasty Shares What Music Shaped Her—and What's on Her Playlist NowWith her new album 'LETHAL' coming soon, the rapper opens up about her musical preferences for the 'Marie Claire' series "Listen Up."
-
In 'Opus,' Cult Leaders and Pop Stars Are One in the SameThe A24 film's costume and production designers open up about crafting fictional pop icon Moretti’s style and mysterious estate.
-
The Melancholic Sound of SuccessThe artist known as Japanese Breakfast opens up about finding her sound on a new album after experiencing whirlwind success.
-
LISA, Doja Cat, and Raye Perform a Glamorous 'James Bond' Tribute at the 2025 OscarsThe Academy Awards are for the pop girls, actually.
-
Aly & AJ Share What Music Shaped Them—And What's on Their Playlist NowWith their new album 'Silver Deliverer' coming soon, the sister act opens up about their musical preferences for the 'Marie Claire' series "Listen Up."
-
Beyoncé Wins Album of the Year for the First Time Ever at the 2025 GrammysThe superstar—who has the most wins in the award show's history—took home the biggest prize of the night for 'Cowboy Carter.'
