
So we were going down the internet rabbit hole the other day—which is what we do every day because it's our job (#blessed)—and we found something glorious. Something we can't believe we ever forgot about.
Let's take a trip back to 2011, when Beyoncé announced her pregnancy, we all wore colored denim, and nothing hurt. In this year, mankind was blessed with a debut like none other: That of Kim Kardashian, singing a song that producers clearly wanted someone to play in a club—"Jam (Turn It Up)." In the accompanying music video, which was leaked and didn't even include the whole song (what?), Kim wears wet-look eye shadow and glossy lips and she poses, like, a lot.
Here are the three things you need to know about this masterpiece, by way of the lyrics:
1) Kim's drink of choice in da club? Rosé...followed by five shots of tequila.
2) When Kim gets drunk, she sees angels in her eyes since the buzz got her way up in the sky. Sounds about right.
3) At one point, she rhymes "club" with "good." Knew that high school poetry teacher was onto something with that whole forced-rhyme business...
The song, which was produced by The-Dream (who admits it was all his idea), has two silver linings: All the proceeds were donated to St. Jude's Hospital and Kim herself realizes how ridiculous it all was, saying in an interview with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live, "It's definitely a memory and it was a fun experience. We gave the proceeds to a cancer organization. But if there's one thing in life that I wish I didn't do...I don't like it when people kind of dabble into things they shouldn't be. And that I don't think I should have. Like, what gave me the right to think I could be a singer? Like, I don't have a good voice."
Don't beat yourself up too much, Kim. This is possibly the best gift you could have given us.
Samantha Leal is the Deputy Editor at Well+Good, where she spends most of her day thinking of new ideas across platforms, bringing on new writers, overseeing the day-to-day of the website, and working with the awesome team to produce the best stories and packages. Before W+G, she was the Senior Web Editor for Marie Claire and the Deputy Editor for Latina.com, with bylines all over the internet. Graduating from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University with a minor in African history, she’s written everything from travel guides to political op-eds to wine explainers (currently enrolled in the WSET program) to celebrity profiles. Find her online pretty much everywhere @samanthajoleal.
-
The Perfumer Behind Last Year's Most Talked-About Fragrance Just Released Another Perfect Scent
Aqua Media Cologne forte embodies a feeling of balance and harmony.
By Deena Campbell
-
'Yellowface' Is Our June Book Club Pick
Read an excerpt from R.F. Kuang's latest novel, here, then dive in with us throughout the month.
By Brooke Knappenberger
-
I Scoured the Summer Runways—Here Are the Six Shoe Trends Actually Worth Buying
Hit the ground running this season.
By Emma Childs
-
The 78 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes of All Time
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
-
22 Captivating Films About Royal Life
Once you've finished 'The Crown,' cue up one of these royally good films.
By Nicole Briese
-
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors
-
The Best Celebrity 'Squid Game' Costumes
A handful of stars chose this year's most popular theme.
By Quinci LeGardye
-
Rebel Wilson Recreated an Iconic Britney Spears Look for Her New Movie
"Can you tell that I’m the biggest Britney fan!"
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Taylor Swift's Lyrics Make for an *Amazing* Soap Opera, as Julianne Moore Demonstrates
The themes are right there!
By Chelsea Peng
-
Who Are Simone Biles's Parents? Meet Nellie and Ronald Biles
The Olympic gymnast was adopted by her biological grandparents in 2003.
By The Editors
-
51 Rare Photos From Princess Diana and Prince Charles' Wedding
You've probably never seen these before.
By Charlotte Chilton