I don't like getting set up on blind dates. It's hard enough to find someone that you're compatible with on your own, so what are the chances of someone else figuring that out for you?
The term "blind date" already sets off red flags. Am I too picky? Is there a set of people out there that will try anything once, and gleefully go on blind dates, half cocked? I don't think anything as complicated as dating should be done blind. Blind anything doesn't seem right: blind test-taking? Blind fishing? Blind surgery? That may be extreme, but sometimes dating feels as complicated as surgery.
Meeting the right person is as difficult and important as finding things you love in life: favorite foods, best friends, favorite movies, etc. Sure, at some point, all of these things had an element of the unknown—you had to see a movie or taste a food for the first time. But after a while, you develop an idea for the types of movies or foods you like. And how many best friends exist because someone said:
You two have got to meet!
Usually best friends are people we meet by circumstance and then share a number of experiences that bring us together. Best friends just happen-- shouldn't a girfriend or boyfriend just happen?
I remember when my mom bought my little sister a business suit in her final year of college. It was basically a Melanie Griffith "Working Girl (opens in new tab)" business suit with a giant belt and shoulder pads. Now, while those suits seem to be back in now, at the time my sister was appalled and ended up taking the suit back. The thought of picking out things for people is always nice, but certain things need to be picked out by the actual person.
I don't like these fancy restaurants and their have prix fixe (opens in new tab)menus. I want to be able to choose exactly what I'm in the mood for. I don't want the restaurant doing that for me.
Maybe I'm over simplifying it with these comparisons, but there are even more variables in meeting the right person than finding a food you like. You both need to be in the right state of mind to get together. You need to be attracted to one another. I have so many friends that think certain girls are hot that I don't think are hot, and vice versa. How are these friends supposed to choose someone that I think is hot?
One of my best friends set me up on a blind date with a girl who was certainly attractive, but not my type of attractive. She was his type of attractive. The conversation was great, but there was no spark, and blind dates just feel a bit forced. It feels like the romance and serendipity is taken out of a date that's been set up. We didn't run into one another, we didn't meet by some sort of strange or cute circumstance. Most of my friends are my friends because we are complete opposites of me. Therefore, they often have opposite views in terms of attractiveness of girls too.
The next problem after a date like this is the pressure and responsibility that I have to behave after the date is over. If I'm not interested, I already feel bad because this person is an acquaintance of my friend, and—in a way—I'm rejecting my friend's idea of me getting together with this girl. Rejecting someone is awkward enough, but it's even more awkward if it's a friend of your friend who set you up. Hopefully, friends don't have expectations when they set you up with people.
My friend says that I should date as much as I can so I can at least use some dates as "practice dates". But isn't dating more like riding a bicycle? Hey, I'm all for dating, I just want to choose who I go on the date with.
So have any of you had any blind dates that turned into a serious relationship? Do you agree with my feelings on blind dating, or do you think I'm being close-minded? What do you think the purpose of blind dating is? Is it just to stay in the game and stay sharp with dating or do you believe it just increases our chances of meeting the right person?
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