Do Nudie Pics of Chicks Turn You On?

Lovelies:

It's been a bit of a strange week--among other things, I tried to break up with my therapist today, but she told me (rather ominously?) that she didn't think that was a good idea because I still have lots of problems getting truly close to people (mainly men); truly intimate with them.

Sometimes I don't know if she's right or if it's just that the perfect relationship for me hasn't quite blossomed yet. If, when that happens, maybe it will all seem fairly easy and straightforward for me; maybe I'll sink into the intimacy like a cat into a velvet cushion.

???

Thoughts, my people? What's your take on this question?

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Anyway ... before I go on, please let me make a disclaimer: THE REST OF THIS POST IS A LOT MORE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT THAN MY USUAL. SO IF YOU ARE FEELING PRUDISH, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO CONTINUE READING!

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In more frivolous news ... has anyone seen the naked pictures of Milla Jovovich (opens in new tab)? She posed completely nude for the Fall/Winter issue of the French magazine Purple (opens in new tab). The shots are in black-and-white, and I turned rather red in the cheeks while looking at them. Because the Ukranian-born model-actress--who starred in Return to the Blue Lagoon and some other films you probably haven't heard of, and also appeared in a series of L'Oreal ads--looks totally hot, if I may say so.

The two sexiest pictures are here (opens in new tab) and here (opens in new tab)--and they are totally NSFW.*

Straight ladies out there in the reader-sphere: Is it just me, or do you also get turned on when you see a beautiful woman posing so provocatively in her birthday suit?

I mean, look, I can handle myself in the gym locker room. It's not like I start to quiver when I see the other chicks yanking off their jog bras and under-roos before duck-stepping into the shower in their flip-flops. I also don't watch porn or look at it--not counting the stuff in one issue of Penthouse, in which I had an essay. (For the record: I also saw part of a video, once, in college, about the exploits of a woman named Juicy Lucy. I walked out half-way through; it just didn't hold my attention.)

And yet ... when I inadvertently come across pictures like these ones of Jovovich, I generally feel pretty turned on. Now, I know what you're thinking, but I'm a not a lesbian or even bisexual: I've been hit on by women, and even kissed one once (a good story for another day)--but I can say with certainty that I'm not interested in having a female as a life partner, or even as a "friend with benefits."

So why is it that these pictures turn me on?

Why is it, similarly, that the only dirty dreams I have involve women?

Frankly, I think the answer is pretty simple. Mainly, I think what happens when I see a woman in a suggestive pose--rather than one folded over near her discarded yoga pants, clipping her toenails in the buff--it makes me think of myself in that position. And from there I think of some man (perhaps the last person I kissed) watching me in that position. And from there, I think of what would happen next ...

And, well, you get the picture. The very naked, very erotic, very black-and-white picture.

Ladies: tell me: am I the only one? Or do you get where I'm coming from on this?

And guys? Yes, this was a post all about naked chicks and the women who get hot looking at them. You're welcome.

[Credit href='http://blogs.nerve.com/scanner/2009/09/09/milla-jovovich-celebrates-her-marriage-by-posing-completely-naked/' target='_blank' title='Scanner post on Milla">Nerve\'s Scanner.']

xxx

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*Not safe for work! Don't open them on your screen in the office--unless you work in San Francisco or at a porn shop or something!