It's 5:30 p.m. when your Outlook reminder pops up: It's T-minus 45 minutes until your girlfriends gather to discuss The Marriage Plot. As you grab your hand- bag, you tell your coworkers you've got to run to grab some Brie and wine before book club starts.
Be honest: Do the words book club make you feel a little smug?
American women have always formed clubs, the first of which were reading circles and civic groups. But now there's a club for everything: running, cocktails, knitting, even picnics. "Talk is the glue that holds relationships together," says Georgetown University professor Deborah Tannen, and since "more of our daily lives are now done individually, we need to make time to talk. Clubs are an occasion for women to get together." Plus, they are a way of connecting in real time in a world that's caught up with Facebook and Twitter. We work so hard to stay on top of our busy lives that joining a collective — of one's own or a new branch of the Soho House — can be comforting.
Though there's another side to these clubs. Tightly knit groups can breed exclusion, a pain Tannen says women feel more than men. "But the pleasure of being included," she adds, "may also be greater."
It's enough to make you think twice about why you can't get together for dinner without calling it supper club. Is it reflexive to say yes when you're offered an invitation to an inner circle? Is there something flattering about being asked? Do you worry that you'll offend if you don't join?
Maybe the answer to these questions is no. Maybe you're part of a group that seeks to be inclusive rather than exclusive. Maybe your Zumba dance group has helped you make big life decisions, get over major heartbreak, and overcome personal loss. If so — are you open to new members?
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
-
All the Easter Eggs and Name Drops on Taylor Swift's 'The Tortured Poets Department,' Explained
Digging through the fan theories so you don't have to.
By Quinci LeGardye Published
-
This Week's Best On-Sale Picks Include a Tory Burch Bag and Pretty Silver Ballet Flats
Warm weather is finally here—it's time to dress like it.
By Brooke Knappenberger Published
-
A Sporty It-Sneaker Era Is About to Begin
Nike's next Air models are designed for Olympic athletes, but they'll soon be all over street style.
By Halie LeSavage Published
-
The Best Bollywood Movies of 2023 (So Far)
Including one that just might fill the Riverdale-shaped hole in your heart.
By Andrea Park Published
-
‘Bachelor in Paradise’ 2023: Everything We Know
Cue up Mike Reno and Ann Wilson’s “Almost Paradise."
By Andrea Park Last updated
-
Who Is Gerry Turner, the ‘Golden Bachelor’?
The Indiana native is the first senior citizen to join Bachelor Nation.
By Andrea Park Last updated
-
‘Virgin River’ Season 6: Everything We Know
Here's everything we know on the upcoming episodes.
By Andrea Park Last updated
-
The 60 Best Musical Movies of All Time
All the dance numbers! All the show tunes!
By Amanda Mitchell Last updated
-
'Ginny & Georgia' Season 2: Everything We Know
Netflix owes us answers after that ending.
By Zoe Guy Last updated
-
35 Nude Movies With Porn-Level Nudity
Lots of steamy nudity ahead.
By Kayleigh Roberts Last updated
-
The Cast of 'The Crown' Season 5: Your Guide
The Mountbatten-Windsors have been recast—again.
By Andrea Park Published