Chriselle Lim Is All for a Social Media Break
Meet the content creator who encourages you to go offline.
There’s no right way to “do” wellness, but Marie Claire’s Doing Well offers a glimpse into the self-care mantras, therapies, and affirmations practiced by industry trailblazers.
Through her chic online content and her popular beauty brand, Phlur, Chriselle Lim has helped countless people reach their wellness goals, crafting award-winning products meant to elicit a sense of happiness and well-being. But what most people don't know is that her business is grounded in her own wellness journey—and that, as with most wellness aficionados, Lim's road to well-being was sparked by need.
"I got into scent because I was going through my divorce, and I just couldn't find a way to visualize myself being happy again," she confesses. "I used scents a lot to get me out of my head and put me in a place of happiness, because I think certain scents and notes bring out certain moods. [Scent] was a really big part of my wellness healing journey."
Soon, Lim began to craft Phlur, grounding the brand's most popular scents in her own needs—needs that she quickly discovered were widespread, if not universal.
Now, Lim uses her products for the aromatherapy she's long sworn by, and performs nightly massages with the brand's body oil. However, when pressed for the scents that work best for her own meditations, she demurs, insisting that Phlur's fragrances smell differently on bodies and that the wide array of scents the brand offers is meant to suit a variety of tastes. And this, she concludes, is right in line with her overall wellness ethos.
"Wellness is not one-size-fits-all," she says. "You have to find what works for you, and it might not work for everyone, and that's okay. You just have to focus on your own lane and what makes you feel good, and shut everyone else out."
But how, exactly, does a successful content creator manage to drown out all the noise? Ahead, she shares her tips and mental health secrets, including anecdotes about wellness attempts gone wrong.
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I think I know exactly what works for me and I don't really buy into trends, especially when it comes to dieting and especially TikTok trends, because I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all category. So unfortunately, I don't really have any trends that I'm dying to try in the wellness category.
I don't know if it would be hippie or woo-woo, but I enjoy the practice of meditation every morning. And in the evening, I have a very strict no-phone policy, and I really try to take time away from any social devices after my kids go to bed (when I have them, because I co-parent), which is 8 p.m.. Meditation really allows me to just get my head straight for the day. Also supplements! I am a big believer in supplements.
I tried the wellness trends of yoga and all of that, and it just doesn't do it for me. And it does for some people—I understand the benefits of it. But for me, what really works for my personality and my mentality, is to be in extreme conditions, like a HIIT workout. It allows me to get out of my head.
My morning routine is quite mundane. I'm a mom of two girls, one nine-year-old and one five-year-old. I have to get them out of the house, fed, dressed—all of that by 7:30 a.m. at the latest. I'm up by 6 a.m., and usually, I start off with just a quick eyes-closed, in-my-head meditation. I just sit still in my bed. And then from there, it's just go, go, go, go, go. Because I'm so busy in the morning with the kids, I don't have time to actually look at my phone or even be connected, so I don't look at my phone until after I drop them off, which is around 8 a.m. So, the first two hours of just being awake from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., it is strangely meditative—just to be in my element and routine without being distracted. My morning routine isn't very glamorous and it's not ideal, in the sense that I would love to start off the day with a nice workout, but I usually work out right after I drop off the kids.
My nighttime routine is very important to me because I am a night owl. As a creative, I love being up all night and thinking of creative ideas, but I know that that's not the best thing I can do for myself for the next day. And as a business woman, it's something that I try not to do because I'm exhausted if I go to sleep past midnight. So, in the evenings, it's really important for me to follow a ritual, because my brain automatically starts working and getting really creative, and I could literally stay up until three or four in the morning working, getting creative, and getting my ideas.
Once my kids are down, I look at my phone just one more time to make sure that I covered everything—that I sent my team everything that they needed and got my posts pre-planned and ready for the next day. After that, I put my phone away and I start off with this thing called Magnesi-Om, by Moon Juice, and I use that with a hot cup of water. It really calms me down—it's like a relaxation and sleep powder. It just allows me to start turning off, turning the world off.
On TikTok Shop, I bought this neck stretcher where you just hang your neck backwards. It really opens up your neck, because we're always crouched down and we have that hump on our necks. I usually do that, and it really just opens up my soul and my neck area, and it just allows me to breathe. I just do that for 10-15 minutes, sometimes with a face mask on, and that's how I just start getting really, really tired. I do pretty much every night, and [the neck stretcher] is super affordable. I got it mainly because of my posture, because I realized my posture was really bad, but I also realized that when I did that, it released a lot of stress and tension. Sometimes I do my LED face mask while I have the neck thing on. I look absolutely nuts, but it really works.
I do recommend investing in a good red light therapy LED mask, especially for skin. I'm about to enter my 40s next year, and I don't have time to go to a facial to lay under an LED light, so it's nice just having one at home and doing it yourself. I like the Therabody LED mask, because it also has a little vibrational massage for your head. It's really, really nice. When you invest in an LED mask, you should also look at the voltage to see how strong and effective it is.
Then, a time splurge for me is a local place that has cryotherapy and a sauna. I like to go back and forth, because I think the best way to get your heart rate and your blood flow going. I sit in the sauna for 40 minutes, then go into the cryo chamber, go back to the sauna for another 20 minutes, and then go to the cryo chamber again—just back and forth. It is so, so effective. There's nothing that makes you more energized, at least for me. I always tell myself, 'in my next house, I am going to build out a sauna and a cold plunge pool.' I'm not there yet, but hopefully one day.
I'm an intense person, so I like intensity. Sometimes it's a HIIT workout, or I'm sprinting—going 11 on the treadmill and then going back down to one, back and forth. Or it's a cold plunge to extreme sauna. I feel like I am in my best mental state when I'm put in extreme conditions. And I know that that might not be for everyone, but it really clears my head.
I've been through a really hard time these past few years, going through my divorce and such, and I think during that time I relied a lot on my mom and my therapist. I am a huge believer in therapy. So, when I was going through my hard times, even though it was a time commitment and also quite expensive, I would talk to my therapist two to three times a week. That really helped me a lot to get me out of my funk and my situation.
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A photo posted by chrisellelim on
I tried the wellness apps and they've never really lasted for me, to be honest. I get the actual wellness apps when it comes to working out because sometimes I'm like, 'Oh, I wish I had an app, especially when I'm traveling, to give me a quick workout where I could just look at my phone.' But that's also what YouTube is for, right? I don't know, I haven't really adopted the apps to be honest, because I know what works for me. If anything, I use the Peloton app, because I am already a member with my treadmill. When I do travel and work out, and I need just a mat workout, they also have that, so sometimes I use that, but that's probably the extent of my app use.
Because I am so directly connected to my phone for work, I associate anything that has to do with my phone with work. And during times of wellness, whether it be meditation or working out, it's me-time. I try to not be on my phone during those times.
The first thing I do, is I get off of social media. Because my line of work ties so much with my social posts, being disconnected is a way for me to connect with myself. So I always take a social media break when I need to reset, whether it be for a few days or a week, because I have the luxury where my team can handle postings, especially if I have responsibilities with brand partnerships. After I take some time away from social, I will probably sleep. I love sleep, I just don't get enough of it, and I think sleeping really helps me recover my body.
Then, after I get that energy from sleep, I go for a workout. Working out is one of those things, as everyone knows, that gets you out of your head. I never ever, ever, ever have regretted working out. Even though I don't always want to do it, I know that 1,000 percent, after that workout, I'll feel 10 times better. My workout of choice is cardio—I don't love it, but I know that that is the most effective way for me to get out of my head, whether I go for a run, go on my Peloton or on any treadmill, or just walk around outside. I think a lot of people get overwhelmed thinking, "Oh, I have to have an hour a day to work out." But it could be simply 10 minutes. It's just getting into the habit of going somewhere, doing something for your body, and moving your body.
I have a great understanding of just the cycle of life now. I just understand that nothing is forever. You have to adopt that mentality of "this too shall pass," whether it be the good things or whether it be the bad things, so you don't really get attached or hold onto things so tightly.
I think it's easy to understand that when you're going through a hard time and being like, "Okay, this too shall pass and I'm not going to be in this position forever." But also with the good things, I realize that good things will come and go as well. So I've been practicing this non-attachment theory a lot, and I think it's a very healthy way to live, because you don't get too high on the highs and you don't get too low on the lows. You're just cruising in the middle, which, I think, is a great place to be.
Just being present, which is really hard in a fast-paced, ever-growing, ever-changing, ever-evolving industry, where you want to continue to do more and achieve more and have more. I think it's important to have goals, but it's also important to be okay with everything that you have and feel that if nothing else happens, that's totally fine, too. That's a wellness mentality that I've had to practice in the past few years and that I still practice because I think it's really easy to be like, "Oh, once I have this, then I'll be satisfied." Or, "Once I have that, I'll feel like a success. I'll feel like I finally reached my goal." That's okay to have, but don't obsess to the point where you can't be present and feel thankful for everything that's around you.
It goes back to the non-attachment theory, but every day when I wake up, I'm just like, "God, I am so grateful to wake up. I'm grateful that I get to make lunch for my kids." It's the little things you have to be grateful for. I think that's hard to do when you see on the internet that so many people having so many things and are achieving so much. It's easy to be in a comparison cycle, but I think that's why it's important to shut off social media and just see what's in front of you and be grateful for what you have. Be present.
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I've become a routine girl and I don't always get to do my routine often because I travel so much. So I do feel the most at peace and at ease when I'm at home, because I get to go back to my daily routine. But also, it allows me to just be present with my kids. When I'm present and I'm not thinking about where I need to be or where I need to go and what I need to do, that's when I feel the happiest. And when I'm with my kids I try not to think about anything else and to just be with them, play with them, and hang out with them, because I do co-parent, so I'm not with them all the time. I'm with them 50 percent of the time, so I know that my time with them is limited.
I tried those juice cleanses before, where you do three days of juicing. I thought I was going to die. It was not for me. I was the meanest person on Earth. And this might be TMI, and I think this is the whole point of juicing, but you have to be stuck to the toilet—but I wasn't. The first day that I did it, I was out and about, and I was in meetings, and I had the worst day because I had to keep running to the bathroom and I couldn't do anything. Plus, you only lose water weight. Some people think differently and say that it resets your stomach and all of that, but for me, it was not worth it. I'd rather just eat really healthy and clean.
Oh, I also tried a colon cleanse. The coffee-colon thing. Oh my God! I will never do that ever again in my life. It was so disgusting and I don't even know how and why I got convinced to do that. They put a tube up your butt and they literally clean out your colon. It's like a coffee water thing, and it cleanses you out and it... I don't know. You watch yourself—not watch yourself, but watch on the monitor—and watch the cleanse coming through you. It was disgusting. It was terrifying. Of course, you feel very light afterwards, but you're going to eat again eventually, and it's the same cycle, so I don't know.
It's always these trends of different workouts or diets. I've tried so many different things and none of them made me feel good. You just have to forget about what everyone says and focus on what works for you. It doesn't have to be trending. It could be something as simple as drinking hot water in the morning.
I'm not necessarily a morning person, and I am so busy in the morning, and everyone's like, "You have to get your workout in before your kids are up." And I tried that. At one point I was waking up at 5 a.m. to work out, but I ended up getting so tired by 1 p.m., so I was like, "Okay, this didn't really work out for me." Because I have the luxury of running my own business, I can work out after I drop off the kids or sometimes midday. I know that's not the reality for a lot of people, but that works for me. It's about understanding your body and not having to force-feed it to fit someone else's program.
Be happy now, because you'll never be satisfied if you always want more. I grew up in a community where I looked very different. I was one of the only Asian girls in my community, so I always wanted to look like the other girls. I would dye my hair, wear makeup, and buy all these fancy clothes because I felt like I would fit in and that would make me feel better. And it temporarily made me feel better, but then I realized that I needed more and more. And soon, I went down this rabbit hole of finding out that it's never-ending. Once you have more, you'll want more, so just be happy with what you have now.
Gabrielle Ulubay is a Beauty Writer at Marie Claire. She has also written about sexual wellness, politics, culture, and fashion at Marie Claire and at publications including The New York Times, HuffPost Personal, Bustle, Alma, Muskrat Magazine, O'Bheal, and elsewhere. Her personal essay in The New York Times' Modern Love column kickstarted her professional writing career in 2018, and that piece has since been printed in the 2019 revised edition of the Modern Love book. Having studied history, international relations, and film, she has made films on politics and gender equity in addition to writing about cinema for Film Ireland, University College Cork, and on her personal blog, gabrielleulubay.medium.com. Before working with Marie Claire, Gabrielle worked in local government, higher education, and sales, and has resided in four countries and counting. She has worked extensively in the e-commerce and sales spaces since 2020, and spent two years at Drizly, where she developed an expertise in finding the best, highest quality goods and experiences money can buy.
Deeply political, she believes that skincare, haircare, and sexual wellness are central tenets to one's overall health and fights for them to be taken seriously, especially for people of color. She also loves studying makeup as a means of artistic expression, drawing on her experience as an artist in her analysis of beauty trends. She's based in New York City, where she can be found watching movies or running her art business when she isn't writing. Find her on Twitter at @GabrielleUlubay or on Instagram at @gabrielle.ulubay, or follow her art at @suburban.graffiti.art
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