

You know what's scary? That you could be pissing somebody off right this minute without even knowing it. You know what's even scarier? That that person could be standing behind you holding a rather large pair of sharp scissors to your head while you unknowingly piss them off.
Most hairstylists will grin and bear it, but the more we know about how we, the clients, can be less annoying, the better it is for everyone. Here, Kat Zemtsova reveals the top five things we do that would make even the sweetest, most patient member of her profession want to Sweeney Todd us. #meatpies
1. You sit in their chairs empty-handed
They're not asking for posterboards of Daria Werbowy's Céline-ad swoop, but a few pictures would be extremely helpful. This is one of the few times in life using your words just won't do, so show, don't tell—not everyone sees or understands color the same way, Zemtsova says.
2. You get handsy
Just blown-out and/or ironed hair has to cool off before it sets. By touching it immediately, you can break the pattern, which would compel the stylist to redo it, which in turn wastes time and energy and causes more damage to your hair, which makes nobody happy. You get the idea.
3. You Veruca Salt them
This mainly has to do with color, but could in reality apply to any instance in which you're like "I WANT IT ALL NOOOOW *foot stamp.*" Zemtsova says her mission is always to protect the integrity of the hair first, so it's physically/professionally impossible for her to take you from deepest black to platinum in one day, "no matter how much Olaplex you use." Or no matter how loudly you howl.
4. You can't sit still
Seconded. Don't turn unless you're asked to. Don't nod. Don't talk on the phone. Don't cross your legs. Don't even breathe too deeply—unless it's a crooked cut you're after.
5. You aren't looking at the (wo)man in the mirror
You're only playing yourself if you can't face the facts. For example, when a client with dark, one-dimensional color looks at a braided up-do on highlighted blonde hair, it'll never look the same on her. Keep it real, and focus on styles that work with your particular situation. Or better yet, listen and trust that your stylist will help guide you there.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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