This Week in Timothée Chalamet, August 9 Edition

When one door closes, another one opens, unless for some reason it can't and you just keep struggling with it.

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Because being a person in the world is hard and you deserve something nice, this was MarieClaire.com's regular column on everything talented young man Timothée Chalamet did that week. You can catch up on last week's here.



Hello and welcome to another edition of This Week in Timothée Chalamet. Or should I say...the last edition. That’s right, Chalastans: I’m leaving Marie Claire this week, after a year and change of mining Timothée Chalamet news stories for anything resembling important content (this month, for example, he had trouble opening a door on his Instagram story and social media went ballistic). The column will, as far as I know, come to an end—effective immediately. Of course, I don’t own the column so once I’m gone, who knows? Maybe some other enterprising/vaguely stalkery writer will pick up the TWITC mantel and bring the only news you need to know to you in a digestible, often meandering form each week. But as Leto Atreides says in Dune, "Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken." (I have not read Dune but I saw that on Insta so in a way...I have read it?)

I hope that Timmy continues to put out more movies, ideally more often. (Seriously, where TF is The King?) And mostly, I hope that this column has fulfilled its duty in celebrating the fandom of America's own floppy-haired son-boyfriend. It’s been an honor serving you, my fellow stans.

And with that, the néws:

Dune's release got pushed back!

The bad news is that Dune is now reportedly coming out in December of 2020, when we’ll know for sure whether we have a new president (*cough cough* Elizabeth Warren) or another four years of Trump (or two years of habitable life on Earth before its inevitable capitalism-induced heat-death, whichever comes first).

The good news, according to my partner (the only person I know who has actually read Dune), is that this is probably for the best, because it will give the filmmakers more time to guarantee the movie's excellence. To which I pointed out, “That is overthinking it, it does not have to be even remotely good. I would see all the films in the Dune franchise multiple times if it were Timothée Chalamet surrounded by felt puppets in front of cardboard backgrounds.” Hell, I would enthusiastically see that movie. And while we're talking about it, they should reboot The Muppet Show and have Timmy host an episode.

Moving right along…

This tweet spoke to me!

Quick aside: Imagining the aforementioned prosthetics brings to mind the show The Loudest Voice, which I binged recently. If you’re unaware of it, TLV is a biographical limited series on Showtime about Roger Ailes, the Fox News CEO who turned the network from regular ol’ cable news into the propaganda machine we know and ignore today. Recall that Ailes resigned in disgrace after many women at the company came forward to accuse him of sexual misconduct and harassment spanning years. He died soon after that in 2017.

Anyway, I bring this up because that show stars Russell Crowe as Roger Ailes, in a bunch of prosthetics on his face and body. It took me awhile to realize it was even him because they had to change so much to get him to even faintly resemble Ailes. Meanwhile, Sienna Miller plays Elizabeth Tilson, Ailes’s wife, also in heavy prosthetics. And not only do their physical appearances change, but both Crowe and Miller have to hide their Australian and English accents, respectively, because the people they’re portraying are American. Which brings me to the question: Like, at a certain point when hiring for a biopic, why wouldn’t you just cast an actor who looked or sounded even remotely like the person they’re portraying? The show is good in an infuriating way (Fox News is so f*cking evil, why does my dad watch it?!), but I did find that element a skosh distracting.

Also distracting? My very slight but certainly present apparent sexual attraction to Seth MacFarlane as a result of this show. Sorry! Ugh. Sorry. I'm sorry.

And that’s just what this tweet reminded me of. Free association, babies! What were we talking about?

Oh yes.

My last column.

(Please hit play on the below video as you read the rest of this post. Wait until the ad finishes. [BTW I will not be seeing that sad dog movie, I don’t care how much of a DILF Milo Ventimiglia is.])

(Okay, is it playing? Great.)

I just want to take a moment to say that I do so appreciate you reading and sending in your fan-art and pinging me with weekly tips. I’m always delighted to get an email from someone halfway across the world who reads this column because it really is a lark. I want to thank Morgan McMullen, who's been our wonderful designer on the main images, and my editor Danielle McNally for thinking these are funny enough to let me keep doing them week in and week out. (BTW, if for some reason you want to view the archives of this column, past installments are collected here for your perusal.)

And Timmy, if you’re aware of TWITC in any small way—even if it’s only because your publicists are frustrated with my SEO dominance when someone googles your name (#sorrynotsorry)—I just want to thank you for being an excellent & v. cute actor and I can’t wait to see what happens in your career.

Sniff. No, I’m not crying. YOU’RE CRYING!

And that’s the news. Have a wonderful lifé.

Editor's note: Timothée Chalamet was not available to comment when Marie Claire reached out about his reaction to TWITC ending.


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