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Ah, the holidays. At time for family, friends, copious amounts of baked goods, and classic songs that range from adorably corny to uncomfortably cringe-y.
One of the cringe-inducing classics that's played all over the radio and mall store muzak from November through January is "Santa Baby," a song combines blatant materialism and implied sexual favors in a truly gross way. It's no "Baby, It's Cold Outside," but the holiday hit (which has been covered by everyone from Madonna to Taylor Swift) is still pretty damn regressive.
That's why Miley Cyrus' update cover of the song is so refreshing. In a bit with Jimmy Fallon and Mark Ronson on The Tonight Show, Cyrus insisted on updating the lyrics of the holiday classic.
"Am I saying I'm gonna hook up with Santa if he buys me all this stuff?" she points out to Fallon in the opening bit setting up the sketch.
And it only gets better from there.
Sample lyric updates include:
"Santa, baby / I don't need any fancy jewelry, not me / I've got something else in mind Santa baby, / And I don't need your presents tonight."
The #MeToo inspired:
"Santa baby, I'd love to know my ass won't get grabbed / At work / By some ignorant jerk / Tell the dirtbags, to put away their chimneys tonight."
And the incredibly on-point:
“A girl’s best friend is equal pay / Stop interrupting me when I talk / And don’t text me pictures of your [interrupted by a strategically timed ringtone]."
Watch the sketch and listen to the entire updated song for yourself below:
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Kayleigh Roberts is a freelance writer and editor with more than 10 years of professional experience. Her byline has appeared in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, ELLE, Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, Allure, Entertainment Weekly, MTV, Bustle, Refinery29, Girls’ Life Magazine, Just Jared, and Tiger Beat, among other publications. She's a graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University.
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