The State Department emptied 3,000 pages of hip presidential candidate Hillary Clinton's emails into the internet late Tuesday, and it wasn't catastrophic because all she and her staff really talk about is calling people. But, with some skimming, we still managed to piece together a more complete profile of Chillary—Chillary the communicator, Chillary the woman, Chillary…the exclamation-point enthusiast.
She prefers "???" to "?!"
Really, Hils? But I suppose hitting the same combination of keys *is* more elegant.
She's Team Put It All in the Subject Line
She's not great with fax machines
But who is these days?
There was a mystery Twitterer in her midst
She thoughtfully returned her coat to its homeland
If you love something, set it free. (I'm pretty sure she kept it, though. Also, its current approval rating is closer to 82 percent.)
Like all of us, she just wants to be loved and invited to the White House for meetings that start on time/at all
"Can I go?"