Leg Jewelry Is a Thing, and We Have Questions
Mostly "HUUUUUHHHH????!"
It was only a matter of time before body jewelry mutated from Britney-esque belly chains and armbands into these…things by L. Jardim, which Zoe Kravitz wore Thursday stomping around lower Manhattan looking like chic Neo.
What are we supposed to call these? Leg chains? Leglets? Lower leg bracelets? Can we just be vague about it and say "leg jewelry?"
How do you even get them on? Lobster clasps would be elegant, but what happens when you sit and your leg meat expands? And what if, like, you're standing for a long time and your legs get swollen and the flesh gushes out of the openings and you can't even get them past your ankles to take them off because of all the fluids pooling in your feet? What then? ALL THE OTHER FESTIVAL KIDS WOULD LAUGH YOU OFF THE FIELD, THAT'S WHAT.
Do they come in wide calf sizes like boots? Do you have to custom-order them? Do we have to change our measurements so they're like 37-23.5-37.5-13 (Side note: HOW DOES THE INTERNET ALREADY KNOW MARILYN MONROE'S CALF MEASUREMENT?)
Ah. Okay. I went on Etsy (naturally), and they have these ones that tie in the back with elastic, which don't seem so bad.
But I bet after you sat, you'd still get indentations from the chain pressing into your skin. And possibly gangrene.
At least they're better than leg harnesses, though. Those don't even *look* cool.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at Marie Claire. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
-
Zendaya Delivers a Podium-Worthy Pre-Olympics Gown
She's shining brighter than the City of Lights.
By Halie LeSavage Published
-
'Love Island USA' Star Kenny Rodriguez Is Not "Playing Around" with His and JaNa Craig's Romance Outside of the Villa
The prince and princess of season 6 have remained the cutest couple since filming wrapped.
By Quinci LeGardye Published
-
So Many Celebrity Beauty Favorites Are in Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale
Shop Jennifer Lopez, Meghan Markle, and Kaia Gerber's beloved picks.
By Julia Marzovilla Published
-
The Nostalgic Wedge Sandal Is Officially a Summer Shoe Trend (Again)
The aughts-era shoe trend was due for a comeback.
By Emma Childs Last updated
-
Guests Are Reawakening Their Best Accessories Game at the Met Gala 2024
From Zendaya's massive feather headpiece to Tyla's hourglass handbag.
By Lauren Tappan Last updated
-
Found: 10 Sandals on Amazon You'll Love
Throw 'em on and go.
By Katie Attardo Published
-
The Best Sandal Brands That Inspire Fashion Insiders’ Summer Style
Shop all the labels that style veterans adore.
By Lauren Tappan Last updated
-
The 18 Fall Scarves No Outfit Is Complete Without
The easiest and coziest combos—just in time for sweata weatha.
By Julia Gall Published
-
Red Club X Cartier Is Offering Invaluable Support for the Next Generation of Entrepreneurs
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
By Sara Holzman Published
-
Yara Shahidi Joins Forces With Cartier Women's Initiative to Empower Entrepreneurs
"Giving back is essential to existing in the world."
By Sara Holzman Published
-
Fashion Test Drive: Chloe's Top-Handle Penelope Bag
This eye-catching bag also does good for the planet.
By Sara Holzman Published