The Road to Rio ends tonight, and while the great majority of us will definitely not be competing (but we can dream, right?), we *can* bring our A-games in one arena we know best: imbibing alcohol. Hence, the official Marie Claire drinking game for tonight's opening ceremony, the rules for which can be found below. Warning: By the time the athlete parade rolls around, we doubt you'll be sober.
Equipment: a good mixed drink*, some hard alcohol for shots, and a few beers
*We suggest caipirinha cocktails. Caipirinhas are the national drink of Brazil, so solid choice for Rio 2016. To make, add sugar and lime wedges to a glass of cachaça (sugarcane liquor).
THE FULL, OFFICIAL RULES:
Any time a political problem surrounding the Rio 2016 games is mentioned: the Zika virus, unfinished sports complexes, the doping scandal surrounding the Russian track and field team, the severe water pollution, the crime, or President Rousseff's impeachment.
Start to chug...
When someone starts shouting "Goooooooooooool!" Keep drinking as long as this goes on. Fingers crossed one of the commentators—Today's Matt Lauer, Meredith Veira, and Hoda Kotb—tries to do this. Or tries to speak Portuguese.
Finish your drink...
When a Brazilian celebrity or landmark appears. (Gisele Bündchen is rumored to be playing a starring role.) Other famous Brazilian things you can drink to when they appear: the Amazon Rainforest, the big statue of Christ overlooking Rio, or Copacabana beach.
A post shared by Gisele Bündchen (@gisele)
A photo posted by on
Take a shot...
Any time the announcers discuss these #TeamUSA ladies: Katie Ledecky, Serena Williams (The Greatest of All Time), Carli Lloyd, Missy Franklin, Gabby Douglas, Simone Biles (double shot), Alex Morgan, Kerri Walsh Jennings (going for her fourth consecutive gold, what?!) or Allyson Felix.
Make someone else drink...
If you're the first person to realize one of these songs is playing: Katy Perry's Olympic anthem "Rise," "Salute" by Little Mix (the audio to probably the most inspirational ad we'll ever see), Brazilian artist Anitta's "Show das Poderosas," or any samba music.
When Matt, Meredith, or Hoda goes to a new commentator. NBC has more than 170 commentators covering Rio 2016, which feels a bit excessive, no?
Pour yourself a new drink...
If the ceremony turns into a history lesson. (We would totally watch a Drunk History: Olympic Edition.) Will they or will they not address the history of colonialism in Brazil? Or any of the 240 tribes of indigenous people? #heavy
Grab a cold beer...
If any winter Olympians are mentioned. Or if there are fireworks. There are always fireworks.
Every time that "Thank You, Mom" commercial comes on (you know the one), because yours would totally scold you about staying hydrated if she were there.
And to win gold?
Be the first to finish three drinks. Saúde!
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