By Rich Santos published
I've been wondering whether I'd choose kissing, cuddling, or sex if I had the luxury of choosing with a particular girl.
Before deciding, I figured I'd take a quick look at the pros and cons of each:
Pros: Kissing is usually the first intense thing we do with our significant other, and this is often when the relationship is all fun and new. You put your personality in kissing, so if you're a boring person-you're usually a boring kisser.
It's fun to lose yourself in a kiss, and because there is so much anticipation and anxiety over that first physical contact with someone; usually there is great release with the kiss. Kissing, even more than sex or cuddling, lends itself to spontaneity because you can do it any time.
And, like any gateway drug, kissing can lead to more serious physical activity.
Cons: It's pretty easy to be a bad kisser: you can have Reptilian Tongue Syndrome, you can be reluctant to even use your tongue, you might have bad breath, or maybe you are a slobber factory when you kiss.
Kissing can sometimes occur when one person is not interested-a guy may read signals incorrectly and dive in for the kill. Also, because kissing can happen on-say-- a dance floor, it can randomly occur between two people who are not particularly into one another ...maybe because they are drunk.
Also, because kissing is acceptable in public, there may be some conflict between couples if one person is not comfortable kissing in public.
Pros: Cuddling is all about mood and ambience. It's peaceful to lie in someone's arms in the dark with great music or even the low buzz of the tv (although that tends to distract me) in the background. It's nice to hear nothing but your lover's breath against the backdrop of the evening or early morning.
Holding someone close in bed also makes you feel very secure with one another and the relationship.
Cons: Cuddling can get logistically difficult. If a cuddle position is held too long, a limb or two may fall asleep. I can remember many a cuddling episode where my arm fell asleep under a girl's body, snapping me out of my romantic lull. I lied there with my eyes wide open while she slept, knowing that I could not pull my arm out and disturb her, so I just let my arm go numb.
Matters are complicated when one of the cuddlers has to go to the bathroom. It's taken you some time to twist yourselves into a comfortable position and now one of you have to move and disturb all the peace? It's like when my cat has lodged himself into a spot when I'm asleep; I wake up and ruin his life. I've actually lied there awake at times, waiting for him to move so that I don't disturb his comfort.
Falling asleep together is very romantic, and it's amazing to fall asleep in someone's arms. But if one of you snores or kick in your sleep it makes for a restless and sometimes painful night for your cuddling partner.
Also, cuddling has the tendency to drag on too long. Sure, we love spending time with our significant other, but when you cuddle in bed all morning don't you start to feel like a lump, wasting the day away?
Pros: When you're with the right person, sex is a blast. It's a human need, and you can work together to satisfy one another and extend possibilities. Once you're really comfortable, you can find ways to spice things up. And, while kissing and cuddling feel amazing, I can't argue that orgasms are pretty much designed to be full body pleasure experiences.
Cons: Where do I begin? STDs, accidental pregnancy, loss of erection mid-intercourse, failure to give your partner orgasm...oh, and the mental cons: realizing it was a mistake later, feeling disrespected, it meant more to you than the other person, general emotional overload...
Given all of these pros and cons, I'm thinking I would choose the activities in this order:
Kissing, then cuddling, then sex...
So it is possible for guys to enjoy kissing and cuddling. I just chose them because they are fun, and feel great and have a lower chance of disaster. I'm so anxious about sex: it honestly seems like there are so many things that could go wrong; I don't want to try it until I've got all the other things figured out with a girl.
What pros and cons do you have for these three activities, and what order would you put them in if you were to rank them? Does it depend on your mood?
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