Australian author Holly Hill had been a professional psychologist before she left her career behind — and spent six months being a kept woman. After placing an Internet ad that described her as a 35-year-old attractive and well-educated woman who was seeking a sugar daddy, she went through four wealthy lovers — all of whom were cool with her demands for a weekly allowance of at least $1,000. In Marie Claire's August issue, Hills talks about her unusual sexual lifestyle — and the new memoir, Sugarbabe, that she wrote about it.
Should You Become a Sugar Girl?
While reading the interview, I was thinking, "1,000 bucks a week sounds pretty good to me!" But could I actually deal with exchanging sex and companionship for money that way? Some people would call it prostitution — although I think when a woman has a real choice about whether or not she wants to do something like that — when she's not forced into it by some abusive pimp — it becomes a very different scenario. It's less about humiliation and violence, I'd imagine, than about opulence (in the same way that bondage isn't about degradation as much as it's about playing out of roles and fantasies in a safe space). And Hill claims what she did was not that much different from being a stay-at-home wife with a credit card. (Some of you may disagree. I may, too.) "We all sell ourselves — whether it's our bodies, our brawn, or our minds," she notes.
Think this kind of thing is for you? Then Hill has some interesting pointers:
1. Don't worry that you're not young enough. Hill says she thinks 40 is an ideal age. "Most men who can afford to keep a woman are older than that," she says. "And the last thing they want a waiter to say is, 'Oh, you've brought your daughter! How sweet.'"
2. Don't worry about looking like a model. It's not just the über-beautiful who can do this kind of thing. Just be sexy and confident, Hill says.
(After reading that bit, I immediately flipped the page to check out Hill's pic, assuming she'd be a hypocritical knockout. But no ... She's cute, but she's not the next Angelina Jolie.)
3. Don't worry about looking like a porn star ... down there. Hill points out that a lot of older dudes are shocked by full-on bush nudity. "Stick to a classic bikini wax," she says.
4. Be cool and self-assured ... because many sugar daddies will be nervous at first, especially if they haven't done this kind of thing before.
5. Don't take it personally if you get dumped. Mr. Warbucks may very well throw you over after a month or two. Hill says most daddies think of the arrangement as a treat for themselves — and you can only enjoy a treat for so long before it gets old.
6. Be honest — even if the man has a wife. Hill claims there are plenty of women out there who will agree to let their husbands have a mistress for a while — and she suggests letting your daddy know up-front that you don't want to be involved with deceiving anyone — that you only want to be with a guy who has his wife's approval.
(Do you think that sounds unrealistic, or unbelievable? I wonder if there aren't also unmarried men looking for women to be their spoiled mistresses. I imagine there are.)
Now, cCould I, Maura Kelly, become a sugar girl?
I really don't think so, as much as the money and adventure do sound intriguing, though perhaps I'm being naive? Hell, I get awkward about letting a guy buy me dinner if I'm not over the moon for him; I feel phony, deceitful, and uncomfortable. Plus, I'm still a cradle-robber, like it or not; I have trouble "getting wood," if you will, when a dude looks old — when he's balding, has a spare tire, or even when I can see the little gray hairs growing in along his sideburns. I know it's not fair, but it's the truth. Maybe someday, I'll get over it. Till then ... I'll probably be right here, living flirtatiously. Sigh.