Compromises Are Important
Wait a second…you don't want me going out with my friends every night? Sometimes you just want me to curl up and watch a movie with you? For many men, this first love is also the first time they have been in the sort of relationship where they are asked to make a series of compromises. More accurately, it may be the first time they really wanted to make those compromises, because they valued the relationship. If you're currently a guy's first big love, ease him in slowly by explaining why these compromises are important; communication is key.
Relationships Are Uncomfortable
A guy also learns from his first love that relationships can be uncomfortable. Sometimes he says something that pisses you off, or vice versa. He may not have had fights with previous girlfriends, but as you get to know one another you see why you're fighting from time to time. That's not a bad thing, necessarily! It's you getting to know one another's boundaries. Ideally one fight on a given topic is enough; the guy learns, for example, that flirting with other women is simply not okay when you're in a serious relationship. Men learn in their first big love that uncomfortable moments in a relationship are moments of growth.
A guy may have been with women before his first love, but didn't have the same level of intimacy he has with his first real girlfriend. Most men really learn what a woman likes in bed from the woman they initally fall in love with, as it feels like a safe space to ask questions and explore. Plus there is months upon months of sex so there is time to try things out to determine what really gets his partner going. If you're in this first-love scenario, don't hold back; let him know what you enjoy sexually.
You May Not Be the One
Just because you are in love doesn't mean it is going to work out long term. Love can conquer a great deal, but long-distance relationships, being in different stages in life, and having dissimilar values can really f*ck with that. Guys learn that sometimes love isn't enough; there has to be a whole slew of other things for someone to be "the one." If you're in that sort of situation no amount of relationship advice will preserve you two, and for that I'm sorry.
Break-Ups Hurt...A Lot
Big love often equals big loss. Unless they marry their first love, men learn about heartbreak at the end of the relationship. That means they may end up scared to leap into another big one. It also means they figure out what they personally rely on to get through a breakup, be it time with friends, binge-watching T.V., drinking a lot, hooking up with other people, whatever. That first major breakup is an important learning experience, likely for you both, and sets the tone for future love and loss.
You'll Never Guess the Amazing Thing Beyonce Just Dropped Seven Million Dollars On
Beyonce: Everything You Need to Know
11 Things Only the Most Hardcore Fans Know About Beyoncé
The 18 Emotional Stages of Buying Beyoncé Tickets
Beyoncé's 40 Fiercest Looks
Photo via Moment Select
Princess Charlotte Used Four-Word Command to Keep Her Older Brother Prince George in Check
Always watching out for royal protocol.
By Rachel Burchfield
Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner Are Not Just Coparents, But Friends
“They really enjoy each other.”
By Rachel Burchfield
#ReadWithMC Readers Gave 'Adelaide' By Genevieve Wheeler Five Stars
"This book just busted my heart OPEN and I am now in a million pieces. Wow wow wow."
By Brooke Knappenberger
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
By Kayleigh Roberts
The 82 Best Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
By The Editors
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
By Abigail Pesta
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
How the pandemic has mutated our most personal disunions.
By Gretchen Voss
16 At-Home Date Ideas When You're Stuck Indoors
Staying in doesn't have to be boring.
By Katherine J. Igoe
Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas for Couples Who've Made It This Far
Alexa, play "A Thousand Miles."
By Jaimie Potters
15 Couples on How 2020 Rocked Their Relationship
Couples confessed to Marie Claire how this year's many multi-stressors tested the limits of their love.
By Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW