Four Things That Make Women Unapproachable

Dying for the guy at the end of the bar to talk to you? Men share the surprising reasons they stay away.

man in suit with woman behind him nuzzling his neck
(Image credit: Valentin Casarsa)

Sometimes it seems like no amount of silent prayer or aggressive cleavage will get that cute stranger to take a hint and chat you up. Could you be scaring away men before they even approach you? We asked the male members of Marie Claire Ask & Answer — Marie Claire's online Q&A community for dating, sex, and relationship advice — what female behavior makes them scared to go in for the kill.

You Look Pissed

Hey, perma-scowl: Swap the pouty lips for a genuine, friendly smile and your eye candy for the night will be more likely to approach you. The majority of Answerology men agreed that an unfriendly facial expression will keep them from approaching you, so flash those pearly whites at the guy you've been eyeing!

You're Not Locking Eyes

What's harder than approaching a stranger? Approaching a stranger who hasn't acknowledged your existence with even a brief look. "I need to see, by her looking and smiling at me, that she wants me to approach her. If I don't see it, I don't approach," says Anonymous. So next time you think he catches you looking at him, don't look away — hold your stare for a few seconds so he knows you're looking — and that you like what you see.

You're Too Flirtatious

A chip on your shoulder is a turnoff to any guy waiting to make his approach — but so is the other extreme. istillhatescreennames is put off when women cross the line from friendly to flirty...with everyone they see. "If she's flirting with lots of guys. Nothing like a woman who is basically telling everyone in the place that she's open for business with anyone," he says. "Flirting with everyone" would put him off, agrees Anonymous, adding another pet peeve: "Grinding out on the dance floor (yeah, it's fun to look at but I like to look at strippers too...but I wouldn't take any home to meet my mom)." Sure, he'll notice you if you're the loudest, most aggressive girl in the room — but not in a good way.

You're Surrounded by Friends

Admit it — your awesome group of friends can be a little intimidating, especially when a strange guy approaches to hit on just one of you. seanc writes, "Being surrounded by more than one friend makes her less approachable because of the embarrassment of being rejected in front of more people." Make sure you're giving him the opportunity to approach you alone — check out the jukebox and linger for a bit, or offer to grab the next round of drinks for your friends.