1. The first time with your partner is never the best time. You've never seen each other naked. You have no idea how he is in bed. Is he going to be good? Is he going to think you're good? Relax! He's giddy as soon as you take your top off.
2. Foreplay is important. And don't let anyone ever convince you of otherwise. Sometimes you have to walk before you can sprint, as they say. It's more fun to slow things down and get into it before really getting into it.
3. If he ever (I mean, EVER) even begins to make a disparaging comment about your body, he's garbage. Kick him out immediately and don't look back.
4. NO baby talk allowed. Why would a grown man talk to you (a grown woman) like you're a baby? Try leading by example with more age-appropriate dirty talk and see if he catches on.
5. Sex is inevitably funny. Weird noises, hilarious faces, and compromising positions are a-plenty. Acknowledge when something is funny and it will never be awkward.
6. If the rest of your clothes are off, take your socks off too. Socks during sex are strangely off-putting. Don't question it, just throw them off the bed and find them in the morning.
7. If you don't ask for what you want, you may not get it. Don't complain that the person you're sleeping with won't do "that special thing you love" if you haven't told him that you dig it. Communication is absolutely important when it comes to enjoying yourself during sex. Unless your dude is a mind reader, and in that case, he's special and don't ever let him go.
8. Cuddling is good, but falling asleep on the other side of the bed because it's too hot… is also good. Don't feel bad if you wake up and realize the night wasn't filled with sexy spooning.
9. Don't sneak out. Especially if you're looking for an invitation back. It's rude and sleeping in is more fun anyway.
10. No matter how cozy you are, or how cute he looks — get up and pee. You'll regret it later if you don't, as it helps prevent UTIs. There is nothing worse than dealing with a UTI.
11. Morning sex is the best hangover cure. Followed by coffee and a breakfast sandwich, naturally.
12. Ignore all the rules. Do your thang!
Related:
20 Guys Every Woman Meets At Parties
9 Real Reasons Why You're Not Having Sex Tonight
6 Ways To Be The Best Sex He's Ever Had
-
Princess Kate Looked "Furious" With Prince William on Rare Occasion She Couldn't Mask "Negative Emotions," Body Language Expert Says
But it was all sorted out soon enough.
-
Hailey Bieber Stunned in a Wet T-Shirt and String Bikini Ahead of the "Best Summer of Her Life"
This is a whole look.
-
Billie Eilish Hits Back at "Women-Hating Weirdos" Who Criticize Her for Wearing Feminine Clothes
"Weirdos" seems correct.
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
-
The Best Period Sex Tips, According to Sex Experts
Who says messy can't be sexy?
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
-
The 14 Best Lubes of All Time
Good sex should always go smoothly.
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
-
75 Real Sex Scenes in Movies
These actors aren't faking anything.
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
