The 13 Emotional Stages of Getting a Bikini Wax
We feel you, sister.
By Hallie Gould
1. Excitement (The morning of):
I so desperately need to get a wax. This is going to be great! It's almost the weekend. I'm going to feel divine!
2. Trepidation (About 10 minutes before):
Okay! Pants off. Now I'm nervous. Why do I get waxes anyway? What kind of maniac volunteers themselves for pain? I must be a masochist. [Editor's note: If you're nervous, here's our comprehensive guide to waxing dos and don'ts to skim through after you read this piece.]
3. Anxiety (Just minutes before):
It sure is bright in here. Oh! And now you've turned on the lamp.
4. Distress (Shes looking at you, there):
I'm officially spread eagle. Pretending it's not awkward. I should get an Oscar for this performance, just saying.
5. Slight Relaxation (Only momentarily):
Here comes the warm wax. That feels nice.
6. Denial (Three minutes, tops):
We're starting with the easy ones. This isn't so bad...
7. Anger (For longer than expected):
Why are we still talking about my tan lines? I can't concentrate on this discussion while I'm getting hair pulled out of my body.
8. Sheer Dread (It's happening):
This must be what childbirth feels like. Oh no, this. is. the. worst. one. BREATHE.
9. Relief (The worst is over):
Phew. She's pretty good at this.
10. Suspense (What is about to happen?):
Annnd now it's time for the requisite "flip over." Again with the Oscar-worthy performance.
11. Anger (You feel violated, raw):
Do not even think about going near me with those tweezers.
12. Relief (It. Is. Over.):
Okay, that feels mildly better. Whatever she's applying right now feels soothing.
13. Happiness (Phew!):
Yes! Done! I feel amazing. I'm struttin' my stuff out of this office. But, I have to come back in 4 weeks. Le sigh.