Take that "Not tonight, honey" and turn it into Thomas Mars singing "We're meant to get it onnnnn..." like you're about to hook up in the bathroom of a house party. Because science says more sex is good for you, and anything science says, we must do, DON'T WE? (Yes, science, master.) But just in case you need some more convincing (it'd save some time if you just believed us), five highly interesting, highly educational reasons here.
It'll Make You Wicked Smaht
Not that you already aren't—we're talking Taraji-in-Hidden Figures smart. The mice and rats in separate studies conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland and Konkuk University in Seoul, South Korea might not have been able to solve differential equations in their heads after doing the rodent version of 👉 👌, but they emerged less stressed, which improves brain function, which makes you better able to tackle advanced calculus.
It Keeps the Sniffles Away
Speaking of golden numbers, a Wilkes University study might've found the optimum one as it relates to sex frequency and its effect on the human immune system: once or twice a week. Researchers discovered that college students who Did It that much had higher levels of a certain antibody that helps fight off colds and the flu.
It'll Get You a Raise
Bit of a flowchart involved with this one, so follow along, children. According to an Oregon State University study of 159 employees, those who had a roll in hay reported they were in a more positive mood the next day, which led to higher job satisfaction and work engagement. You don't say! Logically, then, being happier and more involved at work = making your boss happy too, which could lead to anything from being allowed to knock off early to a promotion. Nice.
It Helps Ease the Sometimes-Debilitating Pain of Cramps Way Better Than Cranberry Juice
Buh-bye, hot water bottle/nearest available cat. Hello, Vesper. According to a 2000 survey of 1,900 women, nine percent of the group were masturbating solely to get rid of their menstrual cramps, which is both economical and renders partners who gag at the thought of period sex (just put a towel down, god) obsolete.
It Does the Work of 1,001 Anti-Aging Serums
Why drop $$$ on creams and unguents when you can just get laid? (Retinols are still pretty great, though—don't forget about those.) In a study by Scottish researcher and clinical neuropsychologist David Weeks, 3,500 European and American women and men were split into groups, to put it delicately, smashing two or three times a week. Just guess which one fooled the judges into underestimating their ages by seven to 12 years? Now imagine that plus a vitamin-A regimen—you'll get carded until you're 74 because the bouncer's like "I've seen that walker trick before, nice try."