Joel Quayson: How Do You Feel?
For the first time, a video installation won the prestigious Dior Art of Color award. The work is born of the "clash between what I can be openly and what I cannot be openly," says artist Joel Quayson.
This year, for the first time in Dior Art of Color award history, a video installation—Joel Quayson's "How Do You Feel"—won. The concept is simple, compelling: For four minutes and 28 seconds, the 27-year-old Dutch artist, who is of Ghanaian descent, faces the camera and emotes through a variety of costume changes. Throughout, his disembodied voice obsessively repeats a single question: How do you feel?
"Joel's work stood out," explains Peter Philips, Creative and Image Director for Dior Makeup. "There are no gimmicks, just a person, a camera and a constantly repeating question...It just moved me."
Below, a conversation between Quayson and Marie Claire International Chief Content Officer Galia Loupan-Richard.
The work that won you this award is very much about identity. How would you define yourself?
It's still weird for me to say “artist” because I'm still trying and learning. I'm a photographer and a visual artist. My parents don't have an art background at all, I'm the only one in my family that's even interested in art. But that’s okay, it makes things interesting.
What do your parents do?
They’re cleaners. Back in Ghana, my mother was a hairdresser, but when they arrived in the Netherlands in the '90s they became cleaners. My sister is studying nursing. None of them are into art.
Your family background is probably quite different from the community you’ve built around your art practice.
I'm a Christian, I was raised in a Christian community. So that’s who I am with my family. But I'm also an openly queer man. This side of me is much more open, it likes to discover things and people. I like to work on things that resonate with me, and with the other people who feel stuck between two worlds.
You see it in the video: one side wears the white shirt and vest, and the other side is more extravagant, with jewels on the face and a more vibrant outfit. And then in the middle you have the guy who isn’t wearing anything. Who is this person in the middle? That’s kind of the point.
I haven't really told my family who I identify as. The people outside my family know who I am, because I am much more comfortable around them, they make me feel much more seen. That’s why I feel a clash between what I can be openly, and what I cannot be openly. It’s difficult to be in one place while being pulled in two separate directions. But I will also say that it makes things risky in a fun way. Well, maybe not fun, but interesting, because it is the process of discovering who you are. I love that I can explore the things I always wanted to do instead of keeping them to myself. That's also why I made the video: there was a school assignment where we had to make a short film on the theme of self-representation. I was unsure about what to do, and then with the help of my teacher and classmates, I figured it out.
Quayson, photographed by Pierre Mouton.
Have your parents seen the video?
That's still hard. No, I haven't shown it to my family yet. It’s actually a question in my career. I want to show my work, but I also don't know how to show it because of how people would react to who I am...When my family sees this video, I know for sure that they will ask why I'm doing this, why I put the rhinestones on my face...Because they don't really understand what I do. They don't understand how this will become a job, how I will earn a living. I get their concern, and I do want to be successful. But I don’t want to live like they do. This feels much more like me. But they were really happy when I told them that I had entered such a prestigious competition with this video. But I still haven't shown it to them, because I don't know how they will react.
Why do you keep asking yourself how you feel?
Initially, I wanted to do a long spoken word piece, but that didn’t feel comfortable so I decided to keep it simple. It’s still quite hard for me to represent myself in writing. But as I was finishing the video, looking through the footage, I started asking myself how I felt about it. Because on any given day, when I’m living my life—going to school, being at home, going out with my friends, clubbing—I often ask myself: “How do you feel?” Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. That's how life is. And this video really affected me. Do I feel happy? Do I feel sad? Do I feel proud? Do you feel disgust? So many emotions.
But you could also be asking the person who's watching the video: “How do you feel about seeing it, seeing me?”
Definitely.
At this point, there’s only one question left to ask: how do you feel?
(Laughs) That's actually a good question! I would say I feel overwhelmed, but in a good way. I met so many amazing people that really made me see things, experience things, all ups and downs that have brought me here. So yeah, I feel overwhelmed in a good way.
