Scene: You're very upset about something. Your boyfriend Oscar Isaac—or Scrooge McDuck or whomever, it's your fantasy—is very concerned. "Darling, what can I do to make your eyes shine like a thousand highly cut and polished bits of pressurized carbon again?" he asks. You turn to him and deliver the crucial line: "Buy me 1-Day Acuvue© Define©."
Wut? All the celebrities are doing it.
Before we get into the latest in how famous people do beauty enhancement—involving the most under-appreciated body part ever—let's fast-forward to the recent past, because this is our movie, and we'll jump around the timeline however we want to. Observe:
I mean, color contacts are okay if you want a *look,* but at the same time, everybody can tell you're blatantly trying to create a *look*—not chill, even if doing so is written into the secret red-carpet constitution. So we're left with the she-definitely-wasn't-born-with-it lenses' less thirsty, conceived slightly earlier sister: the aforementioned 1-Day Acuvue© Define©, which highlights the limbal ring, which in turn conveys attractiveness and youth, according to science. (They're also designed to mimic and intensify the patterns and light reflection on the iris. Puuurdy.)
Better? Worse? Should I now be worried that my own eyeballs have gone maybe permanently rheumy from staring unblinkingly at a screen working on important reports like this for your entertainment every day? Nah. Because if (when?) that happens, I could just pop in some circle lenses, flash my, uh, baby browns, and rest easy knowing that they'll make a difference—just a little less obviously than Kanye's.
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