Once upon a time in Australia, three brothers were born, all of whom grew up to be disturbingly good-looking. They inevitably became movie stars (or in the case of poor, sweet Luke Hemsworth, a mostly-TV star), and now we're ranking their films based on nothing but hotness. Just remember, hotness is subjective, which explains a lot of the...um...decisions on this list. (Don't @ me.)
10. Chris Hemsworth: Thor
Look, I'm putting Thor last and everyone is just going to have to deal. It's not that Chris isn't hot in it. It simply feels morally wrong to even acknowledge his hotness when the movie includes Loki as played by Tom Hiddleston, man who once frolicked gleefully in the sea whilst wearing an "I Heart T.S." tank top. That said, I will share this sweet gif of Thor with you...
But only because his hair literally looks exactly like Bianca's in 10 Things I Hate About You:
You will now never be able to see Thor the same way again. You're welcome.
9. Luke Hemsworth: The Reckoning
"Hey girl," Luke seems to say in this photo. "I know you have no idea who I am. And I know you have no intention of seeing this movie. But do I look good in it? Yes. Also, look, it's my armpit!"
8. Liam Hemsworth: The Hunger Games
First of all, why have Gale when you can have:
But ugh fine, yes, I will admit that in addition to my husband Peeta, Liam Hemsworth is abnormally good looking in The Hunger Games. THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY?
^ Omg, love it when he calls me that.
7. Luke Hemsworth: Kill Me Three Times
Look, I have no idea what this movie is. I found it in a desperate search for Luke Hemsworth films during an even more desperate attempt to include his (again) poor, sweet heart on this list. What I do know is that the confused and sad face Luke's making in this picture accurately reflects my experience trying to research his film career. Also, to keep things on topic, he is pretty damn hot here.
6. Chris Hemsworth: Star Trek
I could watch this gif of Chris Hemsworth attempting to say "I love you" and then getting blown up a million times. Hot in more ways than one.
5. Luke Hemsworth: Infini
The only person more confused about what the fuck Infini is happens to be Luke Hemsworth in this photo. I'm happy to report, however, that he spent the movie looking extremely hunky.
4. Liam Hemsworth: The Last Song
This film will go down as one of the hottest gifts the Hemsworths have ever bestowed upon us. But if you're feeling too hot, here's Liam to cool you down!
Tag yourself; I'm his gently frosted tips.
3. Chris Hemsworth: The Perfect Getaway
All I know is that Chris Hemsworth spent most of this movie a) shirtless, and b) wearing his hair like this:
For people who love a widow's peak and/or have a secret crush on The Count in Sesame Street (live your life, live your truth, guys!), this is presumably great news.
2. Chris Hemsworth: Vacation
What is Vacation, you ask? Well, to answer your question it's a movie wherein Chris Hemsworth has very concerning middle-parted hair.
So, why is it ranking number two, you wonder? Ah, very reasonable question. The answer lies in this photo:
1. Liam Hemsworth: The Dressmaker
The Dressmaker is a movie in which Kate Winslet and Liam Hemsworth play love interests. Several very important plot developments go down, including this:
And this, if I'm honest:
Chris Hemsworth: Ghostbusters
Originally, I didn't put this role on the list because it already ranked number-one on my list of Chris Movies Ranked by Overwhelming Hotness (right this way for a hotness overload), and that didn't seem fair to Luke and Liam, since there was literally no way they could ever possibly beat it. But I've decided to leave the gifs for you here because it's Friday and you deserve nice things...
Lookie here, when he was like, "Hi guys! I have a backpack!"
Or here, when he wore glasses without lenses, bless!