Because I don't care about sports, like, at all, my personal version of the NBA draft is "Who will be The Bachelorette or Bachelor" this year. And as Marie Claire's resident Bachelor expert—a title my colleague Katherine bestowed upon me, I didn't give it to myself, even though I'm not disagreeing—I'm usually good at guessing who's going to get the lead spot that year. Call me psychic, call me obsessed, I just like being right.
Usually the pick for The Bachelor causes some, uh, controversy. Let's not forget how the internet flipped out when Colton Underwood was named The Bachelor, myself included. There was a collective "Who?" in 2017 when Arie Luyendyk, Jr. was picked as the lead, and there was a begrudging joy when Nick Viall accepted the title in 2016. But The Bachelorette has always been controversy-free, with the last controversy surrounding the pick being the odd concept of having the men decide between Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson for who would be the lead that season.
Okay, okay, I'll stop babbling. Your new Bachelorette is the one and only Hannah Brown, a.k.a. Hannah B., a.k.a. Hannah Beast, a.k.a, Hannah Alabama. (I told you so.)
On tonight's After The Final Rose, Colton and Cassie were together and happier than I actually ever expected to see them, but that's all in the past now, because Chris Harrison announced what we all came to find out: Hannah B. is the next Bachelorette, and according to Reality Steve, she's starting filming for her journey to love in just two days, on March 14.
Brown was eliminated fifth on Underwood's season, and won the audience's heart with her bubbly and warm personality, self-deprecation, and they even managed to forgive her for giving one of the worst toasts ever. It was clear she was going to be The Bachelorette from her appearance on Women Tell All, where she told host Chris Harrison, “I thought my life was going to be this certain way. I grew up in Alabama. I was gonna marry the guy who I dated for so long right out of college, start spitting out babies. Ultimately, I just thought that was gonna be okay for me. But it is not okay for me. I want so much more, and I deserve so much more."
You do deserve more, and you're gonna get it, Hannah Alabama! Here's hoping your cousin, Hannah Montana, makes an appearance!
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Amanda Mitchell is a writer and podcaster with bylines at Marie Claire, OprahMag, Allure, Byrdie, Stylecaster, Bon Appetit, and more. Her work exists at the apex of beauty, pop culture, and absurdity. A human Funfetti cake, she watches too much television, and her favorite season is awards season. You can read more of her work at amandaelizabethmitchell.com or follow her on Instagram and Twitter @lochnessmanda.
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