Dear Twitter,
I have received numerous invitations to join you in a relationship, and i figured it was time to respond to your advances.
First, let me say: it's not you, it's me. I think you're great. The whole world agrees with that. You've accomplished amazing things, and anyone should be proud to be with you. You make me laugh, and you make me cry. You are the center of attention no matter where you are, and I don't know of any other obsession that more people share. It's very difficult to remember the world before you were in it. On a personal note, Girls probably wouldn't be as successful without you.
Before you jump to conclusions, it's not that I'm seeing somebody else. I barely talk to Facebook anymore (we only ever speak when I need to expedite the name game after meeting a new person), too many friends have been with Instagram or Tumblr, and LinkedIn can ask until he's blue in the face... not my type.
It's because I put up walls. Not to hold anything in, but to keep my thoughts from escaping. I protect myself from myself. I know it's confusing because I'm an actress (we tend to love attention), but I am actually pretty private when I'm not pretending to be someone else. I am private because I'm still figuring things out. I'm young! I'm making it up as I go! Every once in a while, I misfire (like a bad photo shoot or a weird outfit choice). And you don't want to be the one I'm with while I'm "finding myself," right? That never lasts, as we all know.
I'm also a little self-conscious around you. OK — I'm very self-conscious around you. You're kind of a tough critic. I always worry about what you would think of me, because I've seen the way you react to other people. Would you find me somehow offensive, or too boring, or too provocative, or too ironic, or too earnest? The thought that you would misread a joke makes me ill.
In some ways, dating you would be good for my career. It's gross, but it's true. It's no surprise that a lot of other actors have gone out with you. Especially for newbies like myself, "number of followers" is essentially currency. You would provide me with a quantifiable estimation of my popularity. That would help with brands, magazines, and movie studios. Even so, I just don't see the results justifying the risk involved.
I'm not up to the task of keeping up with you. Imagine the number of updates throughout the day! Without you, I can enjoy experiences without trying to figure out how to express them in 140 characters. Being with you would ruin any chance at being present in the moment — I'm distracted enough as it is.
I want you to know that this is going to be hard for me, too. There will be times when I'll feel like telling you something. I'll see a great movie or read something wonderful or have a funny thought, and I won't be able to share it with you. The upside is that I won't have to pretend to like people's terrible movies or books, and that my bad jokes won't be exposed to the whole world.
I really hope we can still be friends because I might still come to you for entertainment or news from time to time. I won't ask you to drive me anywhere or pick up my prescriptions... only friendship stuff. Because I respect you, I can't be with you until I evolve a bit more. Like I said: it's not you, it's me. Now you know why.
Until we meet again,
Allison
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
-
I Work Out 5 Days a Week—These Are the Brands I Wear on Repeat
Sponsor Content Created With Nordstrom
By Emma Walsh Published
-
Princess Kate Will Be "Ready to Talk" About Her Absence When She Gets Back to Work, Source Claims
The Palace has released very few details about her illness and recovery.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Princess Kate Was Allegedly Spotted Looking "Happy, Relaxed and Healthy" at a Farm Shop This Weekend
Anonymous onlookers provided this description to 'The Sun.'
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Selena Gomez Replaced Kylie Jenner as the Most Followed Woman on Instagram, Even Amid Social Media Break
That's quite something.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Kanye West Has Been Banned From Instagram for 24 Hours Over Harassing Posts
He attacked Kim Kardashian, Pete Davidson and more on social media.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Pete Davidson Is Back on Instagram and Only Follows 2 People—Including Kim Kardashian
And... Sebastian Stan?
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
James Blunt Threatened to Release New Music on Spotify If They Didn't Remove Joe Rogan's Podcast
Spotify execs are shaking in their boots.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Meghan Markle's Instagram Post Reportedly Left Camilla “Very Upset”
The incident may have been the cause of a falling out between the two last year.
By Marie Claire Editors Published
-
Britney Spears Celebrates Conservatorship Win With Cartwheels and Horseback Riding
A judge ruled that she could choose her own representation.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Lizzo Just Shared an Unedited Naked Selfie To "Change The Conversation About Beauty Standards"
“Normally I would fix my belly and smooth my skin but baby I wanted show u how I do it au natural.”
By Korin Miller Published
-
Jessie J Shared A Naked Instagram Selfie To Celebrate Her 33rd Birthday
She looked sensational.
By Korin Miller Published