40 Rules Celebrities Have to Follow When Meeting the Royals

(Image credit: Getty Images)

published 31 August 2020

When celebrities meet members of the royal family, they have to follow royal protocol just like the rest of us mortals. From how to respond to an invitation from the Queen to what to wear when they meet her, we're breaking down everything celebrities have to navigate when they find themselves in the royals' orbit. Take it all in, ahead.

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You have to be briefed beforehand.

According to The Lion King actor Billy Eichner, he received an email before the premiere (opens in new tab) with a list of all of the dos and don'ts about meeting the royals, including how to address them.

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Following protocol is not optional.

Every royal household has their own team of personal aides to help organize their appearances and packed schedules. This is not an easy job, which is why following instructions to a T is a must.

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Don't mess with security.

Most of the protocol is in place for safety purposes. Since the royal family's security detail has a big job (opens in new tab) to do, it's best to keep jokes to yourself when you're in the vicinity of the royal protective unit.

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Arrive early—just in case.

Protocol dictates that the Queen is supposed to be the last person to arrive (opens in new tab) at royal events. In fact, at Meghan and Harry's wedding, she arrived just five minutes before the bride.

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Don't ever touch a royal.

No matter how friendly the conversation gets, it's a breach of protocol to touch a royal (opens in new tab) without permission. J.Lo must have missed this memo when she met Prince William and Kate Middleton on their California tour in 2011.

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If royals initiate the contact, it's okay.

Royal protocol really boils down to everything being up to the royal to initiate, especially physical contact. It's only after they extend the gesture (opens in new tab) that a celebrity may reciprocate.

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When in doubt, go for a handshake.

A handshake is the standard greeting between a celebrity and a royal. According to the royal family's website (opens in new tab), "there are no obligatory codes of behaviour when meeting The Queen or a member of the Royal Family," but many people prefer to simply shake hands "in the usual way."

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Follow the royal's lead on formality.

If a celebrity and a royal have crossed paths numerous times, there's a good chance the formality of protocol will give way and they'll go in for a cheek kiss or hug. Still, the royal should initiate.

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Don't speak until you're spoken to.

Per royal protocol, you're not supposed to speak to a royal until you are shaking hands (opens in new tab). They're usually the first one to say hello.

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Never address a royal by their first name.

At first, they should be referred to as Your Majesty or Your Royal Highness at first, then subsequently called ma'am (opens in new tab) or sir.

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Nicknames are off-limits, too.

Yes, we all know that the royal family has nicknames for one another (i.e. Prince Philip calls the Queen "Cabbage"), but for a celebrity to use one of these names is a huge breach in protocol. Beyoncé caused a flurry when she referred to Meghan Markle as "my princess (opens in new tab)" at The Lion King premiere, while Allison Janney has spoken about her slip-up of referring to Kate Middleton as "honey" at a BAFTA after-party (opens in new tab).

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You don't have to curtsy...

Although many attempt the traditional greeting, royal protocol does not require (opens in new tab) women to curtsy when meeting a member of the royal family.

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...Unless it's the Queen.

Out of respect for the Queen's highest-ranking position (opens in new tab), a curtsy is the most common greeting. Even other members of the royal family have to curtsy (opens in new tab) to greet her. Angelina Jolie had no problem following this rule when she accepted an insignia of honor from Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace in 2014.

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Plus-ones must stand behind guests.

The receiving lines for royals are very carefully planned and sometimes there's no time for plus-ones to say hello. That's why additional guests must stand behind the celebrity (opens in new tab) who was invited to the event.

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Plus-ones should only speak when spoken to.

Yet again, plus-ones are not on the top of the priority list during a royal event or visit. They should only speak if the royal initiates (opens in new tab) the conversation.

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Royal aides handle the introductions.

A trusted aide typically briefs the royals on who you are, what roles you've been in, and anything else notable beforehand. Let's just hope you haven't been cast to play a royal, which is what happened (opens in new tab) to The Crown's Matt Smith when he met Prince William.

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It's okay to feel nervous.

Eichner described the rules around meeting Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as "very intense" and admitted that he had a hard time keeping up with all of the protocol. "I completely freaked out, although they were very, very nice and totally chill and down to earth, and lovely," the comedian said on Jimmy Kimmel Live (opens in new tab).

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In fact, it's almost a rule that you should feel nervous.

Even Beyoncé was reportedly nervous (opens in new tab) to meet Meghan Markle. Royals deal with people trying to balance protocol and nerves all the time, so they're used to it.

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Try to maintain your composure.

According to CNN royal correspondent Victoria Arbiter, royals don't mind when a mistake is made. "It adds a bit of humor and it gives them something to enjoy and talk about," she told Insider (opens in new tab). But there's a fine line between a case of nerves and being a goof. It's best to try to remain demure, as you wouldn't want the royals to think you were making fun of them.

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There are certain words and phrases to avoid.

The royal family has a whole host of words they don't use (opens in new tab). For instance, the bathroom or toilet is always referred to as the lavatory. It isn't a requirement to use this lingo, but it may win you some good favor.

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Always stand when the Queen stands.

If you're ever in a room with the Queen (!!) follow her lead. When she stands, it's proper protocol (opens in new tab) to stand as well.

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Never turn your back on the Queen.

It's considered rude, and royal protocol forbids it (opens in new tab). We're sure this rule has resulted in some interesting maneuvers in its time.

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Never leave before a royal.

You can't just pop into an event to meet a royal, then bounce. Guests are expected to stay for the entire event, unless the Queen or a member of the royal family has given permission (opens in new tab) otherwise.

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Don't ask for a selfie.

For security reasons, the royal family is prohibited from taking selfies (opens in new tab) with fans—even a famous fan.

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Forget about an autograph.

Autographs are also out of the question. This rule is very practical and is in place to avoid forgeries (opens in new tab).

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Dress conservatively.

There isn't a dress code for meeting a royal, but the rule of thumb is to opt for a more conservative look (opens in new tab)—something that Marilyn Monroe clearly didn't follow when she met the Queen in 1956.

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The dress code applies to journalists, too.

The royal family is often surrounded by a crew of royal press correspondents, and they know the attire expected of them. When the Cambridge's journeyed abroad to the land of paparazzi (a.k.a. Los Angeles), they were so kind as to share their dress code with the American press (opens in new tab). Hint: Jeans and sneakers don't make the cut.

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Don't wear bright or flashy clothing.

Bright colors are reserved for the Monarch—she wears them so that she can stand out in a crowd (opens in new tab). For instance, it's best to sport something more subdued than what Lady Gaga has on here.

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Skip the bare legs.

All female members of the royal family are required to wear pantyhose in public, as protocol forbids bare legs (opens in new tab). It's not required that celebs follow this rule, but it's encouraged. Looking at you, Pharrell.

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Royal weddings have dress codes, too.

If you're lucky enough to score an invite to a royal wedding, leave the wacky outfit choices for the Met Gala. At royal weddings, you're expected to wear (opens in new tab) traditional dresses in bold colors or subtle patterns paired with a hat, always!

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Don't turn down a royal invitation (unless you have a really good reason).

If a legitimate conflict exists, it's forgiven, but take caution, as a decline could be interpreted as a snub. When Helen Mirren had to turn down an invitation (opens in new tab) to Buckingham Palace due to filming constraints, the story became national news.

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You have to RSVP twice for Buckingham Palace invites.

Getting an invitation to Buckingham Palace is one of the highest honors for a celebrity (or, you know, anyone). According to actor Kunal Nayyar, who visited the palace in 2017 (opens in new tab), you have to accept an invitation sent via email and then you're sent a formal invite in the mail that you have to respond to as well.

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At the palace, all rules still apply.

If you're seated next to the Queen at dinner, you should follow her lead and wait until she turns to speak to you (opens in new tab) before initiating conversation.

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Mind your table manners.

Proper table etiquette is essential when dining with royalty. Which fork to use for which course? Is that your water glass or does it belong to the person next to you? These are things to take into consideration before your visit.

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Keep eye contact at all times.

Out of respect, royals maintain eye contact while they're speaking to someone, and celebrities should do the same. People were reminded of this rule after Vogue's Anna Wintour was seen chatting with the Queen in her sunglasses—a move that some say was a major breach of protocol (opens in new tab).

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Don't be surprised by the Queen's lady-in-waiting.

The Queen has her lady-in-waiting with her at all times during public engagements, so she's likely hovering (opens in new tab) around celebrities when they're in conversation with Her Majesty.

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Make way for the royals at the BAFTAs.

As patrons of the British Film Academy (opens in new tab), Prince William and Kate Middleton attend the BAFTAs every year, which is a prime time for them to mingle with actors and actresses. They're a huge draw for the event, so all eyes should be on the royals as they walk the red carpet.

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Don't be late to the BAFTAs.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are the only people who could bring everyone at an awards show to their feet. As protocol stands (opens in new tab), the royal couple must be the last to arrive and require a standing ovation when they enter the room.

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No personal photos are allowed.

This is especially important if you're visiting Buckingham Palace or attending a royal wedding (opens in new tab). Even professional photographers have restrictions for when they can and can't snap photos to avoid catching a royal mid-bite or anything else unroyal-like.

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Certain rooms in the palace are off-limits.

Maybe this is self-explanatory, but wandering off during a visit to Buckingham Palace is a big no-no (opens in new tab). Although tempting, it will likely result in a scolding.