Prepare Yourself: 7 Things That'll Happen When Tom Hiddleston Joins Taylor Swift's Squad

"A whole new world! A dazzling place I never knew!" —Tom as himself, but also as Aladdin

In case you hadn't heard, your boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, has moved on to bigger and better things AKA Taylor Swift. And honestly the worst part about it is a) how damn cute they are, and b) the fact that he's living #ThatSquadLife without you. 

Before this fated moment, Tom spent his free time drinking Earl Grey tea and prefacing all sentences with "cheerio!" and "mate!" like a sophisticated pirate. But now he's ready to start a new life chapter. A chapter where inflatable swans lurk around every corner and shirts are not shirts unless they're cropped.

So yes: Now that Taylor and Tom are A Thing, it's only a matter of time before he joins the ranks of Gigi Hadid, Lorde, Kendall Jenner, Karlie Kloss, and wandering minstrel Ed Sheeran, and there's nothing to do but live vicariously through him. 

It's the only option, okay? Old Tom doesn't exist anymore. There is only Hiddleswift. 

With that fact in mind, here are some things you should probably prepare for now that Tom's  getting squaddy with it.

1. Awards-Show Dancing

Coat, Dress shirt, Trousers, Collar, Shirt, Suit, Outerwear, Suit trousers, Formal wear, Blazer,

(Image credit: WireImage, Art by Dana Tepper)

Put Taylor Swift in a front row, she'll dance on it. There is literally no stopping her. But fear not: Tom has been preparing for this eventuality since the Met Gala

2. Pool Floating

Human, Fun, Recreation, Summer, Sitting, Beauty, Chest, Muscle, Trunk, Amusement park,

(Image credit: Instagram/AMC, Art by Dana Tepper)

Taylor's squad loves nothing more than some casual pool floating, preferably on swans. More swans, fewer problems, as the saying goes. Hopefully Tom's pale English genes won't cause him to burn, but we'll be here praying, just in case.

3. Public Vacationing

Body of water, Water, Leisure, Tree, Arecales, Summer, Barechested, Chest, Holiday, Tourism,

(Image credit: Instagram/Magnolia Pictures, Art by Dana Tepper)

Taylor and her last boyfriend, He Who Must Not Be Named (AKA Calvin Harris), enjoyed breaking the internet with their sweet vacation photos. Calvin is no longer in our lives, but good news: Photoshop is.

4. Exciting New Friendships

Clothing, Trousers, Coat, Shirt, Outerwear, Collar, Style, Formal wear, Suit, Dress shirt,

(Image credit: WireImage/Getty, Art by Dana Tepper)

Ed Sheeran's entire life has been leading up to this moment. He can't wait to meet his new dad.

5. Awkward Beef with Kanye West and Katy Perry

They now have bad blood. Throw away your Yeezys, Tom. 

6. A Comprehensive Understanding of Feminism

Trousers, Suit trousers, Dress shirt, Collar, Coat, Suit, Standing, Formal wear, Display device, Blazer,

(Image credit: Getty/YouTube, Art by Dana Tepper)

Taylor Swift is a proud feminist, so Tom better get on board. We don't need him to read The Feminine Mystique or anything, but would appreciate a Girls binge-watching session, or at the very least a careful study of Beyoncé's entire body of work.

7. A Love for Cats

Vertebrate, Organism, Felidae, Small to medium-sized cats, Carnivore, Cat, Formal wear, Whiskers, Coat, Suit,

(Image credit: Getty/Loops7, Art by Dana Tepper)

Dogs are no longer relevant and they have no place in a) this article or b) Hiddleswift's life.

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Mehera Bonner
Entertainment Editor

Mehera Bonner is a celebrity and entertainment news writer who enjoys Bravo and Antiques Roadshow with equal enthusiasm. She was previously entertainment editor at Marie Claire and has covered pop culture for over a decade.