Cara Delevingne Opens Up About Suicidal Thoughts and Her Mom's Heroin Addiction

"I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate."

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Cara Delevingne comes from a privileged background, and that's something she's well aware of. But growing up, it was hard for the model-turned-actress to reconcile her privilege with her own emotional turmoil—which lead to depression and suicidal thoughts.

In a new interview with Esquire UK, Cara says her depression first manifested when she was a child struggling to understand her mother's addiction to drugs.

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At 16, Cara had a "mental breakdown" due to repressing her emotions and trying to please her parents.

Cara went on medication at 16, but felt like it numbed her. "I didn't feel shit. It was horrible. I was like a sociopath," she said. "I hate meds. I think they saved my life and they've probably saved my mother's life but I don't agree with them. It's so easy to abuse them."

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The Suicide Squad actress stopped taking medication when she was 18, and in the space of one week lost her virginity, "got into fights," laughed, and cried. Her final thoughts on the matter? "I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather be dependent on meds, ever."

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Mehera Bonner
Entertainment Editor

Mehera Bonner is a celebrity and entertainment news writer who enjoys Bravo and Antiques Roadshow with equal enthusiasm. She was previously entertainment editor at Marie Claire and has covered pop culture for over a decade.