
Like the heart (allegedly), the public wants what the public wants. And that is to know, down to the last Jordan almond, what our famous people wore, did, and what version of "(I've Had) the Time of My Life" they danced to on their wedding days. Too bad keeping everything more under wraps than regular, non-Mummy mummies is such a fad now. Ahead, 15 marriages we still, infuriatingly, know so little about.
1. Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego
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He took her name (opens in new tab) (<3), but, like, couldn't he have taken some wedding pics so we have a bit more than an extremely meager amount of intel about their London ceremony (opens in new tab) in 2013? "It was super small but very romantic and beautiful," a source said to Us Weekly of the nuptials (opens in new tab), which were attended by just a few close friends and relatives.
2. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
Well, that's over now, but in 2014, it was a BFD—such a BFD, in fact, that we still don't know much, except that Angie's Atelier Versace dress and veil served as a canvas for her kids (opens in new tab), who were also involved in the ceremony.
3. Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady
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Little by little, we're getting a better understanding of the incredibly good-looking couple's 2009 wedding. For example, after almost 10 YEARS, we can now confirm the bride wore white.
4. Beyoncé and Jay Z
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Just today, Tina Knowles shared this never-before-seen photo (opens in new tab) from the actual #mosttalkedaboutcoupleintheworld's wedding. But...did they dance to their own music at the reception? Who caught the bouquet? WAS THERE BUTTERCREAM?
5. RuPaul and Georges LeBar
"I've never said this television before—we are married," he said of his longtime rancher partner on Hollywood Today Live (opens in new tab). "I met him on the dance floor at Limelight in 1994 on his birthday. We got married this year on the anniversary of when we met." That's pretty much all we've got (opens in new tab), but we'll take it. <333
6. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds
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This is *still* all there is to be seen of her custom Marchesa gown and Lorraine Schwartz wedding band. However, if you are interested in the espresso beans and fruit tarts served at the reception (opens in new tab), there are tons of photos of that, hmph. ::clicks anyway::
7. Allison Williams and Ricky Van Veen
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Here's the dress, which had sleeves because she's "always cold!" (opens in new tab) But what did Tom Hanks say when he officiated (ah)? Why was it in Wyoming?! We may never find out.
8. Amanda Seyfried and Thomas Sadoski
The secret-marrieds club's newest members (opens in new tab) have a kid (opens in new tab) now! But before that, "we eloped," Sadoski said on the Late Late Show with James Corden. "We just took off into the country with an officiant and, just the two of us, and we did our thing." Tell us more about the thing!
9. Margot Robbie and Tom Ackerley
To tie the knot with the British director earlier this year in Australia, (it appears) Robbie wore her mother's dress (opens in new tab), then immediately headed to the beach (opens in new tab). Noice.
10. Ilana Glazer and David Rooklin
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Catching most of the internet unawares, the comedienne and her scientist boyfriend got hitched (opens in new tab) at a low-key City Hall ceremony. We can only assumer her other *other* half Abbi Jacobson was in attendance.
11. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard
Three years after she and Shepard married "in a tiny room in Beverly Hills courthouse," Bell finally shared some private photos (opens in new tab) of what she called "one of the best days of her life." Awww.
12. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher
They got secret-married. Then they didn't. Then they actually did! After jerking us around a bit (opens in new tab), the couple finally owned up to being man and wife with rings from Etsy (opens in new tab). And that's it, pretty much.
13. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied
Their union just produced a second child (opens in new tab), but the details of their 2016 Big Sur wedding are still hazy. Key info: It was vegan; the dress was Rodarte; and Ivanka Trump was reportedly a guest (opens in new tab).
14. Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
Pretty epic that they pretended the wedding was a birthday party for Theroux. Even more epic that the goings-on have remained so watertight, even with high-profile guests such as Lisa Kudrow, Ellen DeGeneres, and John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.
15. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
Fourteen years later, and there are still no photos—that's how stealth the whole 2003 operation was. (For comparison, news of their conscious uncoupling was sent out in the Goop newsletter.) According to People (opens in new tab), they got the license at the Santa Barbara courthouse, then did the deed—without even Paltrow's mother Blythe Danner there as a witness.
Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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