Four New 'Fifty Shades' Parodies That Are Probably Better Than the Real Thing
"Who interprets surprising and mysterious to mean 'ninja?"
Fifty Shades is really taking it out of, well, everyone. There's Dakota Johnson, who had to be tied up like a pork loin and dangled from the ceiling. There's Jamie Dornan, who did 345,987 sit-ups every day because we imagined his character having abs. There's Sam Taylor-Johnson, whom, we hope, is taking a nice mental vacation for the rest of the month. And then there's poor you, having to deal with crippling Fifty Shades fatigue.
You know what makes everything better? A clever shot of a clueless couple trying to put a sex swing together, Christian Grey as a Lego, and Vanessa Bayer offering Ben Wa balls to strangers. Praise the Internet.
1. Trojan's Fifty Shades of Pleasure
Moral of the story: Don't use "Nancy" as a safe word.
2. Audi's Elevator Scene featuring Vanessa Bayer
Instead of sending them home with cab fare and a nice fruit basket, Christian Grey gives Audis to all his submissives.(All of us in unison: Oooooooh.)
3. Antonio Toscano's Fifty Shades of Bricks
Dibs on becoming this Lego whisperer's apprentice.
4. Ellen's Deleted Playroom Scene
Turns out Christian's playroom *chortle* contains neither his Xbox nor his BDSM equipment.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at Marie Claire. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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