Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation

An evening of sky-scraping scapulas.

When I think of camp—the theme of the 2019 Met Gala—I tend to think of three things: The films of John Waters, Celine Dion not knowing what camp is, and exaggerated shoulders. The first two are self-explanatory, but the third is interesting. Shoulder pads sort of came back in style in recent years, but in a truly campy way: It winked at the past, knowing that the look is sculpted but a little silly, and then dared to be taken seriously. What is campier than that?

And so, naturally, there were some big shoulders on the red carpet of the Met Gala this year. But whose sky-scraping scapulas risked slicing off an ear? Whose precipitous shoulder pads impaired their peripheral vision? Let's take a look at the largest and in-chargest shoulders of the 2019 Met Gala red carpet, with each look rated out of 10 for literally no reason. (We'll update throughout the night.)

White, Clothing, Dress, Gown, Fashion, Pink, Haute couture, Carpet, Fur, Shoulder,
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Speaking of artifice and exaggeration! Kris Jenner's pillowy shoulder pads nearly distract from the realization that there's a painting of a much older version of her in someone's Calabasas attic. 10/10

Clothing, Fashion model, White, Fashion, Blue, Cobalt blue, Shoulder, Haute couture, Beauty, Electric blue,
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Our Lord and Savior Natasha Lyonne looks like a Patrick Nagel painting come to life. 12/10

Clothing, Fashion, Pink, Leg, Thigh, Dress, Event, Footwear, Fashion design, Fashion show,
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Jemima Kirke and Lena Dunham read Susan Sontag in college and don't you forget it! 10/10

Clothing, Fashion, Red carpet, Carpet, Event, Street fashion, Flooring, Fashion design, Formal wear, Costume,
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No offense but if Jared Leto doesn't tongue-kiss his own severed head tonight, I'll consider the entire ball a failure. 14/10

Red carpet, Gown, Dress, Carpet, Clothing, Fashion, Flooring, Haute couture, Premiere, Event,
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Janet Mock looks so gorgeous that I had to be revived with smelling salts after seeing this look. 20/10

Fashion, Blond, Beauty, Street fashion, Fashion design, Performance, Dress, Tradition, Long hair, Brown hair,
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I would watch an entire Marvel movie about Saoirse Ronan's dress. 15/10

Hair, Face, Hairstyle, Blond, Skin, Beauty, Lip, Bangs, Hair coloring, Chin,
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Madelaine Petsch serving "Drew Barrymore in Ever After" ethereal shoulders. 30/10

Clothing, Fashion, Haute couture, Red carpet, Carpet, Costume, Pink, Flooring, Dress, Shoulder,
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You know how carousels always have that one horse that's like a beautiful, aqua mermaid horse? That's Florence Welch right now. 12/10

Fashion, Yellow, Beauty, Fashion design, Haute couture, Fashion model, Event, Dress, Performance, Model,
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Awkwafina looking like a golden-shouldered goddess. 28/10

Red carpet, Fashion model, Clothing, Fashion, Dress, Carpet, Shoulder, Flooring, Hairstyle, Premiere,
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Other shoulder for scale on Miley Cyrus. 12/10

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