Ignorance
Maybe you didn't know you would be eating after the concert. Maybe they ordered fries "for the table." (Hahahahahaha.) Maybe you just had a lapse in judgment and decided that, yeah, you could totally wear your risky pants with the non-stretchy waistband to an event literally called "the feast of the seven fishes." Whatever it was, you're here, the fries nobody else will be eating are parked in front of you, and you're just going to go with it.
Denial
That foam-roller-crammed-into-my-esophagus feeling will *totally* disappear when I stand up. Yeah.
Anger
ASDFASDLFJALKJADSF!!!! I stood up. The waistband of my pants creaked and threatened to give way, and I'm pretty sure the button is lodged in my stomach. BEGONE, DEMON FOOD BABY. I command you!
(I've got a pillow over my midsection RN.)
Bargaining
Okay. But if I drink a lukewarm lemon water in one hour so it doesn't dilute my stomach juices and do some yoga twists but only the ones where you can lie down, I'll be fine. I'll be fiiiiineee.
Depression
A post shared by Jacquie Aiche (@jacquieaiche)
A photo posted by on
This would never happen to Behati. 😩
Regret
*mournfully places last fry nub back on the plate* "Should've done that 2,938,465 fries ago," the part of you that brought up that Behati pic snarls.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
Acceptance
[Sunlight filters through the window as the protagonist wakes. She remembers the previous night fondly, the scent of French fries still lingering in her hair.] It was worth it.
Follow Marie Claire on Instagram for the latest celeb news, pretty pics, funny stuff, and an insider POV.
Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
-
The 2024 Met Gala Is Almost Here—Here's How and When to Stream It Live
Armchair fashion critics, it's our time.
By Quinci LeGardye Published
-
Why Youthforia's New Foundation Is Under Fire
This isn't the way to do inclusive shades.
By Halie LeSavage Published
-
Dutch Princess Says She Found “Freedom” In Spain After Threats Forced Her to Move
“A touching demonstration of friendship at a difficult time,” her father, King Willem-Alexander, said.
By Danielle Campoamor Published
-
Tankinis Are Fashions' Most Practical Swimwear Trend
With the days inching closer to beach and pool season, it's still unclear if the '90s swimsuit style will resurface as the It style of the season.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
The J.Crew Sale Has Everything on My Spring Outfit Mood Board
The perfect fashion destination to shop for warm-weather looks.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
20 Trending Shoe Styles From Sam Edelman’s Major Spring Sale
From sandals to pumps to sneakers, the footwear brand now has over 500 markdowns to shop.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
Fashion Editors' Full-Proof Formula for Elevated Going-Out Outfits
Part of growing up is realizing that style and comfort can coexist.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
Stylists on Why Leather Jackets Are a Great Investment
Fashion insiders weigh in on their favorite styles.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
Grown-Ups Are Rediscovering the Charm of Peter Pan Collars
From bibbed button-downs to round-neck leather jackets, this year's takes feel more sophisticated than sweet.
By Emma Childs Published
-
Sabrina Carpenter Wears Vintage Victoria's Secret Lingerie to Tease Upcoming Coachella Performance
Her look was pulled from the brand's 1997 archives.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
The Best Chunky Sandals Prove Minimalism Is Out
Another footwear trend embracing maximalism in 2024.
By Lauren Tappan Published