Q: What is a sensitive approach to delivering bad news to a friend?
Resist the impulse to sugarcoat the situation or beat around the bush. As uncomfortable as it might feel for you to be direct, research suggests that recipients of bad news prefer candor and very little, if any, buffer. There is no need to launch into a lengthy song and dance about how fabulous they are or to engage in superficial conversation about the great weather. If you are concerned about a “shoot the messenger” reaction, remind your friend how much you care about her.
According to a study titled “The Power of Good Intentions: Perceived Benevolence Soothes Pain, Increases Pleasure, and Improves Taste,” perception shapes experience. Make sure your friend knows your comments come from a place of kindness and that you have her best interests at heart. It won’t make the pain of the bad news go away, but it might hurt a little less.
Dr. Samantha Boardman is a clinical instructor in psychiatry and an assistant attending psychiatrist at Weil Cornell Medical College in New York and the the founder of positivepercription.com.
A version of this story appeared in the October 2018 issue of Marie Claire.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
-
Kelly Clarkson Claims Her Ex-Husband Owes Her Even More Money After He Allegedly "Violated Labor Laws" as Her Manager
The "Stronger" star was already awarded $2.6 million in a previous lawsuit.
By Danielle Campoamor Published
-
Robert Downey Jr. Discusses the Highs and Lows of His Career After Oscar Win
"I think if you develop a moral psychology, things are a lot easier."
By Danielle Campoamor Published
-
Anne Hathaway Steals the Show at SXSW Movie Premiere in a Sparkling Mini Dress
The 'Les Míserables' star's red carpet look featured geometric highlights.
By Danielle Campoamor Published
-
Senator Klobuchar: "Early Detection Saves Lives. It Saved Mine"
Senator and breast cancer survivor Amy Klobuchar is encouraging women not to put off preventative care any longer.
By Senator Amy Klobuchar Published
-
How Being a Plus-Size Nude Model Made Me Finally Love My Body
I'm plus size, but after I decided to pose nude for photos, I suddenly felt more body positive.
By Kelly Burch Published
-
I'm an Egg Donor. Why Was It So Difficult for Me to Tell People That?
Much like abortion, surrogacy, and IVF, becoming an egg donor was a reproductive choice that felt unfit for society’s standards of womanhood.
By Lauryn Chamberlain Published
-
The 20 Best Probiotics to Keep Your Gut in Check
Gut health = wealth.
By Julia Marzovilla Published
-
Simone Biles Is Out of the Team Final at the Tokyo Olympics
She withdrew from the event due to a medical issue, according to USA Gymnastics.
By Rachel Epstein Published
-
The Truth About Thigh Gaps
We're going to need you to stop right there.
By Kenny Thapoung Published
-
3 Women On What It’s Like Living With An “Invisible” Condition
Despite having no outward signs, they can be brutal on the body and the mind. Here’s how each woman deals with having illnesses others often don’t understand.
By Emily Shiffer Published
-
The High Price of Living With Chronic Pain
Three women open up about how their conditions impact their bodies—and their wallets.
By Alice Oglethorpe Published